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Teresa’s Take on the Real Housewives of NYC Catfights

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Robert Pitts/Landov

Teresa Giudice knows how to keep it classy — just don’t tell her to pay attention, puh-lease. The Real Housewives of New Jersey star is flipping the tables on the ladies of The Real Housewives of New York by sounding off on season 3 of their show. In this post, she gives a blow-by-blow account of the altercations on Thursday’s episode — and dreams of what it would be like to be a Real Housewife of New York:

I take it back! I take it back! I thought I wanted to see the New York Housewives be more upfront and in-your-face instead of talking behind each other’s backs, but now that they actually did it, I’m not so sure. It was pretty brutal to watch.

First, Bethenny went off on LuAnn at the Pamella Roland fashion show in a pretty spectacular way, saying, “I’m telling you to your face, I don’t like you, I don’t trust you, and I think you’re a snake.” LuAnn hit back, telling Bethenny she’s got a “foul mouth” and is “nasty.” Kelly asked Ramona to her face — and in front of Ramona’s daughter Avery — why she wasn’t invited to Ramona’s party. Alex confronted Jill. Ramona attacked Kelly. Ramona attacked LuAnn. I think I even saw Ramona attack a plant in the corner. Someone seriously needs to keep Ramona away from the Pinot Grigio!

What was crazy, though, was that the face-to-face confrontations were way meaner than anything anyone has said behind each other’s backs. Except for Jill and Alex clearing the air, nothing was settled. It all only got worse.

I went back and watched it again, and I think I figured out why: When they are talking directly to each other, it’s not about first-hand information. It’s always about second-hand gossip — horrible gossip that doesn’t need to be repeated out loud. Ever.

Because of the Internet, everyone (even when you’re not on TV) has nasty rumors written about them now — on blogs, Facebook, texts, whatever. But to bring those ugly rumors (which may or may not be true!) up on camera in front of millions of is really horrible because it’s giving the gossip a bigger audience. And the girls who bring them up know that. And they do it anyway. I don’t want to do the same thing here — you’re gonna have to watch the episode yourself! — but trust me, the rumors are evil: sleeping around when you’re married, getting blackballed by department stores, secret booby surgeries … terrible, terrible stuff.

While they’ve all done it, Ramona is the worst. When LuAnn and Alex were talking nicely, Ramona interrupted them to let Alex know — in front of LuAnn — the mean things LuAnn had said about Alex. Who does that? Why would you do that? She’s not protecting Alex. She’s just making Alex feel bad.

The best part of the episode this week represents the best part of The Real Housewives of New York City: a peek inside the lives of the super rich. Jill hosted a private party at Saks Fifth Avenue and it was unbelievable. The table settings were nicer than a wedding! I wish I was invited, don’t you? I wish I were Jill, actually! Seriously, how do you get hooked up like that? Saks just calls her up and says they’ll host an amazing party for her and all her friends? Someone needs to call me up like that. I’m just a suburban mom, sitting here in New Jersey in my house, holding baby Audriana while Milania jumps off the stairs. Meanwhile Jill is probably breaking a champagne bottle off a yacht somewhere. I want a party!

For more on my take on The Real Housewives of New York, check out my blog on Bravotv.com.

Ciao! –Teresa Giudice

Tell us: What did you think of last night’s episode? Was Ramona out of control? Team Bethenny? or Team LuAnn?Robert Pitts/Landov