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Teen Mom's Catelynn Lowell Baltierra Still Has 'a Lot of Guilt' over First Daughter's Adoption

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The Teen Moms a are celebrating nine years of friendship, but part of that shared history still haunts Catelynn Lowell Baltierra.

In a sneak peek at Monday’s episode of OG, Catelynn and her husband Tyler join longtime friends Maci Bookout and Amber Portwood, as well as their significant others, in Puerto Rico. As they sit around a barbecue, Catelynn says, “One day I’ll have more kids.”

But Tyler instantly jumps in about her struggle with postpartum depression, which has been an ongoing consideration as they prepare to expand their family.

Bookout shares her own experience with postpartum after having her daughter Jayde, and Catelynn admits that when she had her first child — a daughter named Carly she and Tyler decided to place for adoption — “I never even knew I had it.”

Tyler recalls the strange mix of emotions the young parents felt at knowing they had a child but not being able to raise her: “The only we had was for Carly, who wasn’t even with us.”

Adds Catelynn, “It could’ve been really easy. I could’ve been selfish and brought her home with me and not given a f— about her future … because I just wanted her.”

FROM PEN: Former Bachelorette Jillian Harris Talks Mom Guilt — ‘We’re All So Hard on Ourselves’

 

At that point, Catelynn has to walk away from the group to avoid getting emotional.

Tyler tells Bookout: “She gets bothered by Carly. She tries to be happy, but it bothers her bad. She’s got a lot of guilt.”

He adds, “When you’re 16 and you’re so scared and you place a child, then when you’re 24 and you actually have one, you’re like, ‘Wow, I could have, like, a 7-year-old, 8-year-old running around — this could be something. It just makes you question everything, you know?”

Bookout, who herself hopes to adopt one day, advises: “You can’t have regrets.”

Tyler clarifies, “Not regrets, but lessons learned.”

Teen Mom OG airs Mondays (9 p.m. ET) on MTV.