Amber Portwood is facing her demons.
The 27-year-old Teen Mom OG star broke down during Monday’s episode after trying on a wedding dress that immediately caught her eye.
Portwood, who debuted pink hair on the show, was speechless after viewing herself in a mirror at the bridal boutique that she and her close friend Annette were visiting. Standing in front of a tall mirror, Portwood could do nothing more than stare at herself as she struggled for words. Looking increasingly overwhelmed, she finally broke down and began to cry.
“I’m ready to get out of this, get me out of this. Now,” she demanded as she teared up.
Portwood told an MTV producer that she had been proposed to four times but always “procrastinated” with each engagement.
When it came to marrying her fiancé Matt Baier, she said, “We’ve just been through a lot these past few years, [and] that has really shut me down from the wedding.”
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She also revealed that her depression was caused by Baier: “When you put your trust in somebody … that’s what a relationship is built on. You get to a good place in life, and you can love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of your life, and still not trust each other. That’s what messes up everything.”
Portwood told Annette she loved Baier, but still doesn’t feel she can trust him. She expressed a desire to have a long-lasting relationship like Annette’s, who was preparing to marry her own partner of more than 30 years.
“I just hope that if we’re gonna get married that nothing messes up,” she expressed. “I hope everything is in order, everything.”
The mother of one was recently re-diagnosed with Borderline Personality and Bipolar Disorder, and made the conscious choice to not have more children due to the mix of medications she is taking.
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“I can get pregnant, but it would mess up the fetus. If I do not have medication, I will not be normal. I would have … crazy mood swings.” she said.
Baier, who was with her when she made the reveal, said, “She had a breakdown, a serious, emotional breakdown over this.”
She added, “So, we just keep moving forward with our heads high like we do.”
Portwood and Baier put their wedding on hold in August, after their relationship took a hit when she found out about her fiancé’s past mistakes. Reports surfaced that he allegedly failed to pay child support for several secret biological children with multiple women.
Teen Mom OG airs Mondays (9 p.m. ET) on MTV.