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Real Housewives of N.Y.C. Recap: Ho-Hum in the Hamptons

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Who would’ve predicted we’d see the Real Housewives of N.Y.C.–including The Countess–hanging ten in the Hamptons? Jill in her muumuu, watching out for Bethenny like some kind of mother figure was kind of fun to watch–especially when combined with Bethenny’s good-natured ribbing of her pal for the second week in a row. They’re friendship has definitely developed into one of the more interesting aspects of the show’s second season. Another interesting aspect? Watching LuAnn, the self-appointed queen of manners, act rudely without even noticing. Like when she walked away from the beach without paying for her surfing lesson and left Bethenny to pick up the tab!

Her quick getaway did allow The Countess to rush back just in time for the arrival of her housekeeper, who’d been gone for a month, leaving LuAnn to (gasp!) do laundry and figure out how to fold cardboard boxes for (gasp again!) recycling all by herself. But as the ladies met for lunch in the next scene was anyone else wishing and praying that the ladies would get the heck out of the Hamptons and go back to the City?

Ramona continued hating on Alex and Simon non-stop. The fact that Jill wanted Alex to lend her top-notch skills as a graphic artist to design invitations to an upcoming charity event set Ramona into a frenzy of Silex hating that seemed completely uncalled for. They make her “skin crawl”?

Then again, cut to Simon in a towel gearing up for his sauna and massage–part of their all-inclusive house rental in the Hamptons. Simon admitted he’s a regular massage-and-spa-treatment indulger. “It doesn’t mean I’m gay, for god’s sake,” he said. Could these reality stars be any more self aware? Speaking of self-awareness, the home-owner masseuse then did a psychic reading on Alex, claiming she would soon be coming into some property ownership. What? Will that get re-visited later in the season? Very strange moment. And then…

Whoa! More than 20 minutes in we finally got a moment with new Housewife Kelly Bensimon, riding in a Hampton Classic horse show. Once again, Kelly’s scene was completely separate from the rest of the Housewives. Complaining that she couldn’t get in sync with her horse, she was thrown in the middle of competition. Let’s hope she gets in sync with the rest of the Housewives at some point.

LuAnn even showed up at the Hampton Classic with a group of her daughter’s friends, but rather than interact with Kelly, she sat and taught the youngsters a few lessons in table etiquette. A lesson that was capped by a story about why the tips of table knives were first made round in 1776–because they used to be used to kill at the table. What? Huh?

As Alex and Simon packed up to leave the Hamptons and go to their “real” vacation in St. Bart’s, we headed out to the gay “Tea Party” with Bethenny, Jill and LuAnn–and Jill’s gay husband, Brad. Once again, under a tent, we watched them all dance together. Didn’t we see this already, like on last week’s episode?

A full 43 minutes into it the claws almost came out. Ramona, teetering on heels and wearing shorts too short for a woman half her age, showed up to see her “new friend” Kelly in another horse-riding competition. First, before the competition, Kelly walked right by her without a second glance. Then she brushed her off as she geared up to ride. And then in the middle of a post-event conversation, Kelly walked away to talk to some guy that she didn’t even introduce to Ramona! Icy. But that’s where it ended. Ho hum.

As the ladies reunited again at yet ANOTHER Hamptons party, Russell Simmons’s annual Art for Life event, LuAnn showed up in a white dress–despite the purple-themed dress code for the evening. This time, Jill called out The Countess’s etiquette-busting behavior! But she didn’t do it to her face. She did it afterward, to the camera.

There was a funny moment Jill described (again to the cameras) about Ramona meeting New York Governor David Paterson at the party, and bragging to the blind governor about how bad her eyesight is. But we only heard about it rather than saw it.

And then, once again, we were back at the Hamptons Classic. Finally the Housewives were all together – well, minus Alex (and Simon) – and they say hello to Kelly! But nothing happens. Bethenny notes that she and Kelly don’t really “click.” But that’s it.

Yawn. Big yawn. –Mark Dagostino