To what animal would you compare Lisa Vanderpump? Because everyone else basically thinks she’s a spider.
For this we can thank Kathryn Edwards, who on Tuesday’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills shared with a table full of the women how Erika Girardi thought Vanderpump was, well … not sneaky, exactly.
Here’s what Girardi told Edwards of Vanderpump, earlier in the episode: “I think she engages from the side. I think she’s a sniper from the side. I don’t think she wants to leave any fingerprints, that’s what I think.”
And here’s how Edwards paraphrased that conversation for everyone else at the table: “Don’t get caught in [Vanderpump’s] web.”
Vanderpump was … displeased by the (utterly accurate) characterization, leading to prolonged, episode-ending back and forth between her and Eileen Davidson about the proper manner and mode of an apology.
Namely: Vanderpump is mad at them, Davidson said! She deflects and she minimizes.
Davidson, unhappy with the “closure” from an earlier tiff, wanted Vanderpump to own up to her shortcomings. Vanderpump wanted Davidson to stop talking about it.
Kyle Richards just kind of marveled at it all: “Eileen, you’ve got balls.”
As Richards also told the camera, “Just say, ‘I’m sorry’ and move on. It’s easy: I’m sorry.’ Done, bam, boom.”
Vanderpump, in the end, apologized; and for all of this – and, why not, Eileen’s whole deal, too – we can thank Yolanda Foster, who was, according to Davidson, another housewife wronged by Vanderpump’s tendency to minimize her own actions.
That’s right: While Foster seemed to have mostly gotten over Vanderpump’s talk of her children (whatever non-gossip it contained) earlier this season, Davidson had not.
In fact, Foster seemed to have gotten over so many things that she was creating new ones to put in her way.
At another contentious meal, Foster got upset with Richards and Vanderpump for mentioning how Foster earlier said she would never say Lisa Rinna was bipolar.
It was a lot of nonsense, Richards thought: Saying in a group that you would never say something about someone accomplished that same goal through other means. It was no less bitchy.
Foster was not having it: “Kyle and Lisa whispering strikes a nerve in me … You don’t whisper like this in a group of women.”
She expounded on her displeasure in a later email, addressed to Richards but cc’d to all of the other women. It included such lines as, “Your lack of compassion is not a pretty look.”
“I explained to her, from a very clear point of view, what I had to say about her behavior and I wanted all the other girls to hear it as well,” Foster said of her email.
(The scope of their fight at the restaurant was unclear from the episode, but must have been a bit hairier than what we saw, to warrant that kind of message.)
Girardi, through all of this, like the reverse Vanderpump, offered her honest opinion to everyone’s faces and never turned away.
She spoke this gem, about herself, but also about so much of this franchise and reality TV.
“It’s not that I’m not open to having women friends, because I have them. They’re just few and far between. I want really good women in my life, not just any old broad that comes in.”
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.