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Why Married at First Sight's Cody Knapek Didn't Want to Consummate His Marriage on the Wedding Night

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Larry Remiker

Married at First Sight is back! On season 5 of Kinetic Content’s hit social experiment show, three couples meet for the first time at the altar just minutes before exchanging vows. The newlyweds (whose wedding portraits were taken by Mike Staff Productions) are alternating each week blogging exclusively about the ups and down of marriage for PEOPLE. Check back after every episode for the latest in their road to (possibly) happily ever after! This week’s blog comes from Cody Knapek, a 26-year-old entrepreneur, and his wife, Danielle DeGroot, a 30-year-old dietician.

CODY’S TAKE

I finally got to meet my wife and she is absolutely stunning! We hit it off great and clicked right away, had one of the best nights of my life at the wedding … Can things get any better? They sure can! After a romantic night on the beach, we wake up on day four of our marriage, and things are continuing to seem more and more normal waking up next to Danielle. And even though it’s only been four days, it seems like we have known each other much longer!

We are finally able to get out on the water and do some paddle boating. I’m really excited to see how Danielle and I work together as a “team.” We get out on the boat and WOW — with the waves and the current, it’s a little bit harder than I expected! You can tell I’m definitely more laid back than Danielle, and she is a little on edge, but I think it’s a good thing because we can balance each other out. Eventually, we both figure out our roles of paddling and navigating and have a really good time! Later on in the day, Danielle and I end up finding a secluded beach where it’s just me and her, and even though we have already been somewhat intimate, I’ve got to admit I’m pretty excited to see my wife in a swimsuit! Can you blame me? Danielle looks phenomenal in her swimsuit and I don’t mean to brag but she has the nicest booty. Haha. It was a great time and I feel like Danielle and I are getting closer and closer as each moment goes on.

Moving on! We take an awesome boat tour and get to have a nice relaxed lunch on the boat. Believe it or not, after last week’s episode and make out scene, I’m usually not a fan of PDA. And talking about things like sex in front of a camera can definitely be pretty awkward knowing my friends, family and the whole world is going to see. It’s kind of painful to watch myself and my awkwardness talking about sex, but it’s part of my growth. Part of this experiment is being a more open person and a better communicator!

At night we go to a really chilled-out tiki bar and it is absolutely our style! It’s really nice to see that Danielle really understands my version of love, and it’s encouraging she seems just as committed to working through the hard times to make this thing last forever!

We end the night talking about how we have to be patient with sex. I know Danielle said she was ready to consummate the marriage, but during the time, to me, there was a certain body language or vibe I got from her that she wasn’t totally ready. Something I never communicated with Danielle either is that in my past, when I have slept with someone before developing strong feelings for them, I usually have lost interest. That’s something I would never want to have happen with the person I’m spending the rest of my life with. We definitely could have done a better job on communicating to one another if we were both ready or not, but we are pretty new to this marriage thing! We are learning and we are going to make mistakes along the way, but that’s what marriage is all about! It’s hanging in there and learning from the mistakes and growing from it!

At this point, I couldn’t be happier to be matched with Danielle, she’s amazing! We have had so many great moments on camera and a ton of great moments everyone will never get to see! I couldn’t be more optimistic about my marriage!

Yours truly,

Cody Knapek 🙂

DANIELLE’S TAKE

Ah, the honeymoon! St. Thomas was incredible. My new hubs and I had an amazing suite with a killer view! I was stoked for this trip because I wanted to do all of the water adventures! Our first activity was paddle boating. This experience was funny because it was our first insight into how the other operates. Cody was a gentleman helping me into the boat and his arms were looking pretty darn good while he did it! As we paddle off, Cody’s going wherever he wants, whereas, I’m trying to stay in the area we were told. I’m struggling to control the situation and have to learn to let go. I said I wanted a manly man, but I need to allow Cody the opportunity to take charge. Eventually we get it right and enjoy our float on the water.

Then we went to that gorgeous beach! The color and clarity of the water was out of this world. Kind of nerve-racking the first time in a bikini with your new hubby (and on camera, no less)! Luckily, Cody’s height was a total bonus because he helped me float around!  

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The boat ride was another cool experience. Cody and I talked about where we were (or were not) with consummating our marriage. Here we began learning our communication styles. I look a little uncomfortable and overwhelmed while Cody is telling me his feelings. Cody is more of a talker and planner and I’m more of a listen to your heart and stay in the moment kind of person. Cody wanted to talk the situation out until it was figured out, and I wanted to continue learning about each other, grow together and let feelings build naturally. Plus, it’s kind of an awkward convo to have!! However, communication is SO important to a marriage and I had to get over that.  

Later at the tiki bar I was excited to try an islandy coconut drink and the bar fit our vibe! We discussed our pasts and love. Although Cody hadn’t been in love, his answer for what love is was great to hear. He understood it takes work. I was still mildly concerned about what that work looked like to him, but it was very early on in our marriage! 

Finally, we revisit the sex talk. I was happy we didn’t consummate the marriage on the wedding night. I feel there is a magic before two people have sex that can sometimes be lost if it happens too soon. I wanted to hang onto the magic and get to know one another before jumping into sex and hoping things would progress naturally. We did just meet, after all! But I am a pretty tough chick and I need the guy to be tougher and take the initiative so I can feel like the lady. Here I’m hoping I will soon see Cody’s more assertive side come out! Still, a pretty amazing honeymoon so far!

Married at First Sight airs Thursdays (9 p.m. ET) on Lifetime.