Mariah Carey‘s world is just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby.
The singer’s new reality series Mariah’s World premiered Sunday on E! and it was full of amazing moments that only The Elusive Chanteuse could get away with.
Bianca Storm returns!
Recording artists have been known to adopt alter egos from time to time — remember Chris Gaines? No? Just us then — but none of them compare to the brunette diva Carey played (and battled) in her 1999 music video for “Heartbreaker.”
Carey once again puts on the persona of her “arch nemesis” to introduce the series.
“I can’t describe Maria because I think she’s done well enough on her own,” Bianca says, intentionally using the wrong name for Carey. “The world doesn’t know how awful she really is.”
Only Carey could get away with something so perfectly ridiculous.
Swimming in diamonds — and a gown!
“Well, at least I wasn’t wearing heels,” Carey says after slipping on the stairs and letting out a yelp. “That’s what I do when I’m about to fall, I just scream into a high note.”
After recovering from her misstep, Carey announces she’s going to “have a splash.”
“Oh, the agony! I’m on a yacht and I have to go on a swing in diamonds and a dress,” she muses before being pushed off the edge of her boat in Capri, Italy. “Whatever, this is perfectly normal and everyone does this.”
Her son Moroccan, 5, was worried: “Mommy, you’re going to get a cold!” But the singer is shown gliding through the water.
She looks like a mermaid, but she wasn’t graceful enough to meet her own high standards.
“The dress makes it a bit difficulty to move ones legs, okay?” she says.
It takes a village to dress Ms. Mimi.
“It is taking me a minute to put these shoes on,” Carey explains as two people try and get her lace-up heel on her and a makeup artist applies highlighter. “They always have to get so cute and then they can’t go on right.”
But Carey fully acknowledges the issue is a #CelebrityProblem.
“Oprah told me, ‘Don’t let anybody think that you don’t know how to put your shoes on anymore.’ And she’s really right,” she says. “The problem is, these shoes are abusive and I can’t put them on alone. I’m not going to lie about it.”
The help needs help.
Okay, this last one is not actually something Carey does, but it’s worth mentioning.
When Carey head to Europe to kick off her tour, her new assistant, Molly, is tasked with installing the singer’s Apple TV.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t go well.
“The Apple TV — that’s the most important thing for Ms. MC,” explains Molly. “If she can’t have the Apple TV playing while she’s sleeping, then she can’t sleep. If she can’t sleep, she can’t perform. If she can’t perform, there’s no show. If it’s not there, everything else falls apart.”
After getting the hotel staff to help get the TV wired up, Molly still can’t get things to work and dissolves in tears — which is breaking one of the rules set for her by Carey’s manager, Stella Bulochnikov. (The other rule is no dating during her first year of working for Carey. She breaks that one too.)
Carey’s maid, Maria, attempts to comfort Molly.
“It’s not you,” says Maria. “This is not your fault… you want something to eat?”
Mariah’s World airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on E!