Things heated up – literally and figuratively … on Desperate Housewives. Dave’s therapist showed up to confront him with deadly results. Porter’s baby’s mama’s spouse found out about the affair and let his fists and feet do the talking after. Julie brought an unsuitable suitor home from college to meet Susan. Grandma Nutjob made a very generous offer to the Solis family and everyone attended Blue Odyssey’s big debut at the Battle of the Bands. Bree Andrew found out that the reporter from a New York paper coming to do a piece on his mom had a habit of uncovering the dirty little secrets of her subjects. Bree turned on the charm extra thick, even having Orson pose with a book and a pipe. But an overheard answering machine message from Orson’s parole officer left her salivating. Bree caught the reporter talking to the sorely underutilized gay neighbors and found out the reporter had dug up a lot of “awful” stuff on Bree, like that she used to be on the sauce and that her first husband was into S&M hookers. They also said she planned to attend the show to “hear Orson sing harmony with the guy he tried to kill.”
The reporter showed up and Bree asked her why she was trying to crucify a woman who just wrote a cookbook. “Because it’s not a cookbook. It’s a look-how-great-I-am book, one designed to make every woman who reads it feel like a failure if she doesn’t measure up. What you’re selling is a total sham.” But Bree pleaded that she wrote the book because she wasn perfect and had “fallen down more times than I can count like so many other housewives barely holding on. I want them to know there’s always a chance to get something right even if it’s just a casserole.”
Edie Dave’s doc came to Fairview looking to confront Dave. Meanwhile Mrs. McCluskey and her sister devised a plan to go to Boston to confront Dave’s doc face to face, not knowing the good doc was already in town. Edie, also unaware of who he was, handed him a flier for the contest which had Dave’s mug on it. The doctor ambushed his former patient at the bar: “You changed your name and didn’t tell me. You’re living in Fairview, the one place you swore you wouldn’t go. Fairview is not a fresh start from you.” Dave claimed Edie was the one who wanted to move back and that he had told her everything about his past. The doc agreed to wait until after the gig to chat until he saw the names of the guys in the band and demanded he talk to him immediately. Dave claimed he and the mystery man had worked things out. But when the doc was still insistent, Dave tricked him into the storage closest, strangled him, and let out a meaningful sorry before dousing the room in alcohol and setting a fire.
Gabrielle Gaby returned home from shopping to find Virginia and Carlos on the couch. Though she was not happy to see her, turns out she had gotten Carlos’s job back and put them in her will. And she has high blood pressure. But the truce was short-lived. Gaby and Virginia had a confrontation the night of the concert over the girls’ education. Gaby spat out: “Keep your money. I like money a lot and a couple of years ago you could have bought me with that big fortune of your, but I’m a mom now and I make the decisions for my kids and that is something that cannot be bought.”
Lynette Tom’s group got the primo spot at the Battle as the club was owned by the husband of Porter’s Mrs. Robinson (Gail O’Grady) and during a meeting with Blue Odyssey he seemed slightly suspicious of Porter. Back at home, Preston told his mom about his plan to run away with a pregnant Ann. Lynette immediately went to Ann’s house to confront her: “Don’t try to justify this. This is sick. You are sick.” Ann responded that she and Porter loved each other and that she was “glad I’m having Porter’s baby.” Unfortunately her abusive husband overheard her proclamation and began beating her as soon as Lynette left. Lynette turned back and saved Ann, and she threatened to call the cops on her husband, he responded, I’d “love to hear her explain her way out of statutory rape.”
Porter stormed into the hospital, found out the husband knew and stormed out just as fast once he saw Ann lying in the bed lifeless. He resurfaced at the club and got into a punching match with the husband until Lynette chased him out through the emergency exit, which the boss had padlocked behind them. She tried to look at his wounds before ordering him to go home, but he chastised her: “You are responsible for this. Whatever happens is your fault.”
Susan Julie was came home from college for a visit with her boyfriend who also happened to be her college professor (Stephen Weber). He tried to ease the tension with Susan by explaining that they didn’t start dating until the semester was over and she was technically no longer his student. But in the process he also let it out that he’d been married three times and that he planned on proposing to Julie. In a classic DH moment, he showed Susan the ring and called her mom.
At the club, Jackson talked Susan out of butting in on his proposal or so he thought. C’mon doesn’t he know Susan as well as we do? She saw the professor hand the bartender a CD and when questioned the bartender said her beau planned to pop the question while the special “Julie” song played. So Susan boogied her way over to the couple on the dancefloor and awkwardly stepped in. She made Julie promise that no matter what question he might ask her, she would say no. That’s when Julie confessed she had no plans to ever get married. This led to Susan having a heart-to-heart with Julie about marriage outside. Her sage advice: “Putting a wall around your heart doesn’t protect you. It just keeps out. I learned that the hard way and now, with Jackson, I remember that I like feeling hopeful and believing in happily ever after.”
The Fire The band was in the middle of “Mustang Sally” (which judging by the bit we heard, they weren’t going to need any space on their trophy shelves) when Edie noticed the flames. As soon as she screamed, “Fire,” chaos broke out. Carlos fell off the stage and hit his head hard. Someone slammed into Virginia and Gaby saved her. Jackson, who had wandered backstage to use the employee bathroom (which conveniently had a lock on the outside), unknowingly saw Dave exit the crime scene so Dave locked him inside. When he realized the place was on fire, he broke open a window and escaped. Unfortunately, Susan didn’t know and she sent Mike to find him. Mike passed out from smoke inhalation. But the set-up didn’t really make sense on two levels: 1) Why would Mike assume he went to the employee restroom? 2) If Jackson broke a window, why was the room filled with smoke? Jackson emerged, Dave heard that Mike had gone in after him and he flew into action to save his bandmate. But his motives weren’t as altruistic as they seemed. As he placed him on the gurney, he got all creepy again. “Hang in there. I’m not done with you yet,” he whispered to an unconscious Mike. (Watch the clip.)
Porter was still hanging around and revealed the gun in his pocket. Ann’s husband saw him and accused him of setting the blaze. The opening sequence alluded to the cops labeling it arson and handcuffing someone who looked like he was wearing Porter’s pants. Having that old arson charge on his record certainly won’t help his case. Dave, meanwhile, came out smelling like a hero. It remains to be seen how Jackson spying him exiting the room with a pre-fire dead body in it will play out. –Carrie Bell
Tell us: Do you think Lynette did the right thing in confronting Ann about Porter’s baby? Now that we know that Mike simply dying will not satisfy Dave, what do you think he has planned? Ron Tom/ABC(2)