The final season of Mob Wives gives a heartbreaking look into star Angela “Big Ang” Raiola‘s health battle.
The fan favorite died Feb. 18 of complications from stage 4 lung and brain cancer. She was 55.
During Monday’s episode – the first since her death – Raiola prepared for a surgery to remove part of her lung.
The former New York bar owner worried about what how her two children and six grandkids would go on without her if something went wrong.
I am the glue that holds this family together. Without me this family would fall apart,” she said.
“You know, I’ve done a lot in my life. I had a full life. But I’m not done here. I gotta be around. ‘Cause I want to see my grandchildren,” she added, crying.
The episode also captured her up-and-down relationship with husband Neil Murphy: The week before, she kicked him out of their home after he missed the doctor’s appointment where she learned the cancer was back. But in a scene Wednesday, she welcomed him back when he apologized with a bouquet of roses in hand.
“Your health is more important than anything, Angela,” Murphy, a Staten Island sanitation worker, told her. “You need me here. You got the surgery coming up, I gotta be there for you. You’re my wife. I love you, you know that.”
“Neil makes me so angry at times, but I think he’s right. I am not Wonder Woman,” Raiola confessed to the camera. “Because right now I’m scared. I’m going through all of this with my health. I could use his help, even though I hate to admit it.”
Despite their later estrangement, Murphy, 46, kept vigil by Raiola’s bedside in her final hours, friend Carla Facciolo told PEOPLE.
“He’s part of her life,” Facciolo said. “He’s still her husband, you know? I don’t know if they got back together, but to Ang, when she throws somebody off her for a little bit, they’re always back in. She takes in people.”
Married for six years, Murphy was also photographed looking somber at Raiola’s funeral in Brooklyn over the weekend.
On Wednesday, Murphy tweeted a photo of him and Raiola in happier times.
“Want to thank everyone who knows the truth about me and my wife and how much I loved her,” he wrote.
One person who didn’t tune in to the episode? Star Drita D’Avanzo, who tweeted she “wasn’t up to watching to show tonight” because it came “too soon” after losing Raiola.
Mob Wives airs Wednesday at 8 p.m. on VH1.