I look back at the beginning of this week in Phuket, and remember how I was still thinking about his departure. However, at the end of this week, I found myself being able to see the difference between real, genuine relationships and the one I had with Bentley.
When I first met Constantine, I was blown away: he was exactly the type of man I was looking for, and the floss on my finger was a standout moment for me the first night. I was ready for this date with him.
I was so excited to take him out on the water and hopefully bring out the romance. Unfortunately, the rain had other plans.
Even though it rained, we made the best of the date and it turned out to be filled with less extravagance and more good conversation. In turn, I think our connection grew to a stronger level because of this.
By far, my favorite group date was at the Baan San Fan Orphanage. The guys took this very seriously, and many of them expressed how it changed their lives. To know that I took part in organizing something that would improve the lives of both the children and these men makes me feel absolutely incredible.
At this point, I started to see the guys in a completely different light, especially Ben F. He took it upon himself to paint a mural for the children and was a standout guy in terms of interacting with the children. It really melted my heart, and I feel like this helped solidify my feelings for him.
Going into my date with Ames, I didn t know what to expect.
I got the feeling that he was ultraconservative around me, and I wanted to loosen him up a bit by taking him away from the guys. I was so surprised by his intelligent humor and good heart! I totally saw a new side to Ames on this date and knew I wanted to get to know him better. Even though I was not convinced of a romantic connection with him just yet, I saw too much good in him to not further explore what could be.
I will never be able to accurately describe the serenity in the air while kayaking through the canyons; it was like nothing I had ever seen before. There was something about the calmness of the water and the light peering through the canyon that made silence comfortable. I loved Phuket and all its natural beauty.
Looking back at this week, the most important lesson I took away is that the best type of love starts off with a slow burn, and eventually turns into something much brighter than a spark ever could.