Happy season 21 premiere, Bachelor nation.
As we all know, Nick Viall is the franchise’s “most controversial” pick for Bachelor so far because he was a Bachelorette runner-up twice and spent a summer on Bachelor in Paradise. We heard about this a lot during Monday night’s premiere episode and we are likely going to hear it a lot more throughout the season. Nick is controversial. He talks about sex! He has sex! We get it. Moving on.
Nick’s intro consisted largely of shots of him hanging out in Chicago with his shirt off, even though he almost definitely lives in Los Angeles now. (Shout-out to whichever producer convinced him to film part of this naked in the shower. We are not worthy.)
Nick vowed to prove to America that “if you don’t give up on love, eventually you’ll find it.” Most people’s definition of not giving up on love probably doesn’t mean four seasons on a reality dating show, but Nick is a romantic, okay?
Anyways, even Nick had to make fun of himself for being back on the show. Cue the “fourth’s time a charm” joke literally 20 times. He also spent some time getting ripped on by former Bachelors Sean Lowe, Chris Soules and Ben Higgins. In case you were wondering, Ben still talks like a preacher.
MEET THE CONTESTANTS
The women this season seem like a perfect mix of smart, accomplished, beautiful and bats— crazy.
A few standouts from the ladies that scored an extended intro? There’s Rachel, who works as an attorney in Dallas. Rachel has the best arms and she definitely has her s— together. We like Rachel a lot. Then there’s Danielle L., who owns nail salons in Los Angeles. We didn’t learn a whole lot about Danielle, but she’s very pretty and Nick seems into her so there’s that. Then there’s Vanessa, who speaks like every language ever and is a special needs teacher, so she’s basically an angel.
Josephine the nursing student seems slightly off her rocker. She said it takes a “certain kind of guy” to handle her energy, so buckle up. There’s also Raven from Hoxie, Arkansas, Alexis the aspiring dolphin trainer from Secaucus, New Jersey, Taylor the mental health counselor from Seattle and Danielle M., an absolutely adorable neo-natal nurse originally from Nick’s home state of Wisconsin.
Then there’s Corinne from Miami. Corinne runs her father’s multi-million dollar company and she will tell you that as many times as you will listen. She’ll probably tell you even if you’re not listening. Corinne lives with her family and her nanny, who brings her plates of sliced up cucumbers whenever she wants a snack. In case you haven’t caught on yet, Corinne is going to be the villain this season. Happy to have you, Corinne!
And finally, last but not least, we have Elizabeth, who goes by Liz. Liz is a doula from Las Vegas and the *big twist* is that Liz has actually had a one night stand with Nick. Turns out she was the maid of honor at Jade and Tanner Tolbert‘s wedding in January 2016, which Nick attended, and the two met that night and hit it off. At first, Liz “pleads the fifth” when a producer asks her on-camera to define how she “spent the night” with Nick, but later on she fully comes out with it and admits they had sex. According to Liz, Nick asked for her number but she refused to give it to him so they never spoke again. In other words, their reunion should be fun.
The limo arrivals are always ridiculous. (Seriously, who came up with that awful wiener dog thing? Need to know.)
The first woman out of the very first limo this season was Danielle L., who didn’t attempt any tricks but let her plunging neckline do all the work for her. Solid call. Nick was impressed. See evidence here:
Some of the entrance jokes were inappropriate, some were bad, some were very, very bad and a handful were decent, but hands down the best part about the limo arrivals was the fact that approximately 15 of the 30 women showed up wearing near-identical red gowns. A sea of red. That has to be A) a record and B) some sort of a bad omen.
Also, one-night-stand Liz’s entrance was very strange. She didn’t say anything, so he didn’t say anything, but he gave her a weird, panicked look that screamed We’ve definitely had sex before, right?! Liz, meanwhile, assumed this meant he didn’t recognize her and was weirdly okay with that. (Don’t worry, he definitely remembered her — thank God. He just didn’t know how to bring the whole situation up. Can you blame him, though?)
THE COCKTAIL PARTY
These girls are extremely thirsty and the cocktail party was as messy as you might expect 30 women scrambling to get a few minutes of one-on-one time with the man of the hour might be.
His first kiss was Corinne, but not exactly by choice. She basically stuck her tongue in his mouth and that was that. That didn’t stop her from bragging about it, though.
He also had an uncomfortable interaction with one-night-stand Liz, pictured above. He was basically like, You refused to give me your number after we hooked up, then never reached out to me, but now nine months later you’re here — on this show. Which, in all honesty, are fair points. Liz said something about how she had a some sort of “stereotype” perception of him, whatever that means, and that’s why she never called him. But then he went on BiP and suddenly she saw him as a changed man. Spoiler alert: Nick wasn’t too impressed with her answer.
Ultimately, he gave the first impression rose to Rachel, which was honestly a great call because she seems wonderful and smart. #TeamRachel over here.
THE ROSE CEREMONY
Nick sent home a total of nine women — but he kept one-night-stand Liz around, so we can’t wait to see how that shakes out.
P.S. If you’re ever having a bad day, think of the women that get eliminated on night one of The Bachelor. They do their exit interviews in broad daylight because it’s already morning by then. *shudders*
The Bachelor airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.