Samantha, who had said yes to a date with Justin the night before, mysteriously changed her mind the next morning, deciding she wouldn’t be going on the date and that she wanted to get back together with Joe. (Keep in mind she had just dumped him on his birthday.) Joe, of course, was so over-the-moon at her sudden change of heart that he didn’t think for a second that she might flip-flop on him again. Spoiler alert: She did, and it wasn’t pretty.
Amber Tried to Make Dan Jealous, and It Backfired
This week, Amber ended up going on the date with Justin that Samantha had backed out on. Her reasoning was that Dan had been “slow” with her since their date, and she hoped that seeing her go out with someone else might make him jealous.
Needless to say, her plan seriously backfired.
Her date with Justin seemed to start out on a rather good note as the two went salsa dancing on the beach in Sayulita and made out in spite of the fact that Justin couldn’t dance to save his life. (Side note: Justin’s sunburn was extremely concerning.)
Things soon took a turn for the worse, though, as Amber started to cry in an on-camera interview during the date, wondering if she had “made a mistake” for kissing Justin because she was still really into Dan.
When she got back from her date, she went for a walk on the beach with Dan and basically told him that she was still very interested in him. On his end, Dan didn’t feel the same way at all and told her that, while it was nothing against her, he just didn’t feel like there was a strong enough connection between them.
This was the second time we’ve watched Dan dump a girl this season. Harsh as he may seem, at least he’s honest!
RELATED VIDEO: Go Inside the Bachelor in Paradise House with Chris Harrison
Bachelor Legend Chris Comes and Goes, Setting a Record for the Shortest Time Spent in Paradise
If you’re a fan of any Bachelor shows, you definitely know who Chris Bukowski is.
In addition to being on Emily Maynard‘s season of The Bachelorette and attempting to crash Andi Dorfman‘s, Chris also had a stint on Bachelor Pad. He most recently appeared on Bachelor in Paradise last season and made a highly dramatic exit when he left the show because of a knee injury and took contestant Elise home with him (shockingly, they broke up just two weeks later). What we’re saying is, this man lives in Bachelor infamy.
So Chris arrived at the house in Mexico this season and jumped right back into his usual glorious debauchery, ordering a vodka soda (followed by 12 more) at 9:30 a.m.
Since the ladies were handing out the roses this week, it was in Chris’ best interest to ask a girl on his date as soon as possible in order to try to form a connection so that he could stick around. Instead, Chris proceeded to spend his first day in Paradise getting black-out drunk, and it was hilarious.
He eventually stumbled around to asking out Tenley – who obviously turned him down – and then basically accepted he would be going home after what must have been less than 24 hours on the show.
At this point, Joshua decided to take advantage of Chris’ drunken stupor and swooped right in, asking Chris if he could use his date card since he clearly wouldn’t be using it himself.
Chris said yes and then made his exit, setting an impressive record for the shortest time spent in Paradise. (What can we say? He’s a man of extremes.)
RELATED VIDEO: Which Bachelor in Paradise Star Is the Most Flirtatious?
The next morning, Joshua and Tenley used Chris’ date card and found themselves in Guadalajara. While they didn’t get a private plane or a Fantasy Suite like other couples, they spent the day with Mexican celebrity chef Francisco Ruano.
After exploring a local market with him, they were treated to a meal at his restaurant. This was probably the most food we’ve ever seen a couple eat on any Bachelor date, and it honestly looked delicious. (Seriously, has anyone else wondered if the couples on this show actually eat on the dates? We only ever see them guzzling wine.)
The Amber-Ashley I.-Jared Love Triangle Is Born
A PSA to the ladies of Bachelor in Paradise: Jared is just not that into you.
Last we heard of him, he was dumping Ashley I. and she was crying hysterically. Since then, the two have basically had zero conversation – but at this week’s rose ceremony, Jared immediately took Ashley I. aside for a talk.
Before they even got into anything, Ashley I. handed him a letter that she felt the need to write since every time they talk in person she starts crying and can barely get a word out. (The letter was at least three pages, front and back. Ashley I. has a lot of feelings, okay?)
Jared read the letter out loud by himself in front of the cameras, which looked really uncomfortable.
Shortly after, Amber approached Jared and basically told him that, since Dan dumped her and she wasn’t that interested in Justin, she wanted to give Jared her rose.
Jared did that thing he’s very good at where he smiles a lot and gives a lot of compliments but doesn’t really say anything at all. (Seriously, this is why he can get away with anything without anyone ever being mad at him.)
Amber then took Ashley I. aside and pulled the ultimate power move when she openly told her she was into Jared now and planned on giving him her rose.
At this point, the power was in the hands of the producers since they’re the ones deciding the order the women will be handing out their roses in.
After the predictable roses were out of the way (Carly gave hers to Kirk, Jade to Tanner, Tenley to Joshua, Juelia‘s went to Mikey and Ashley S. offered hers to Nick), the tension was palpable. Finally, host Chris Harrison invited Ashley I. to go next, much to Amber’s disappointment.
Jared ended up accepting Ashley I.’s rose, forcing Amber to give hers to Justin. She looked so unenthused as she handed it to him, I actually felt bad – not to mention the poor guy was so sunburned he literally drenched his entire shirt in sweat.
RELATED VIDEO: You Have to Try Chris Harrison’s New Bachelor in Paradise Drinking Game
Master Manipulator Samantha Finally Sends Joe Home
At this point in the rose ceremony, Samantha was the only girl left to hand out her rose.
Everyone expected Samantha to give her rose to Joe since the two had gotten back together. She even announced at the beginning of the evening that she would be picking him.
And yet! With a move completely out of left field, she ended up giving her rose to Dan. The two had spoken during the cocktail ceremony, and Dan had basically told her not to trust Joe. We had also learned earlier in the episode that Dan himself was now interested in Samantha. (Because in case you hadn’t heard, Samantha is, like, really pretty.)
Perfect reaction quote, courtesy of our favorite commentator Tanner: “Samantha is like a praying mantis – after she’s done with guys, she rips their heads off.”
After being eliminated, Joe cornered Samantha and confronted her about her decision. He continued to threaten to expose their texting scheme before the show, and she denied any wrongdoing, even calling herself the “victim” in this situation.
I almost felt bad for Joe as he was driven away from the house, desperately shoving his phone at the camera to show Samantha’s texts – right up until he went ahead and said he “should have f—ed her brains out.” Classy move, Joe. See you never. (If you’re interested in reading Joe’s attempt at apologizing for his behavior on the show, direct yourself here.)
Meanwhile back at the house, Samantha cried on Dan’s shoulder and complained about all the “drama” she found herself in, which she maintained was of no fault of her own. Seriously, complain about the drama one more time, Samantha. You haven’t done it enough.
Dan said he didn’t think Samantha lied and that she is a “really good person.” Interestingly, Dan also called himself a “good judge of character” earlier in the episode, so something definitely isn’t adding up here.
The episode wrapped up with the arrival of newcomer Chelsie, who appeared on Juan Pablo Galavis‘ season of The Bachelor. Carly immediately made it her mission to steer Chelsie toward Dan and out of Samantha’s claws.
Will he escape?
Tune in to part 2 of this week’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise Monday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC to find out, followed by Bachelor in Paradise: After Paradise, a live one-hour show at 9 p.m. ET.