1 of 10
2 of 10
"You could call me 'late for dinner' and I'd still love you – but not lunch."
– Kindly letting Jennifer Lopez know he prefers to be called Steven, rather than Steve
3 of 10
"You opened up a can of woo-kee-do on us tonight!"
– Coining a new can of butt whooping for contestant Naima Adedapo
4 of 10
"Slap that baby on the ass and call me Christmas!"
– Thrilled by the talent at the Milwaukee auditions
5 of 10
"What's with the juju bees on your ooh ooh bees?"
– Questioning Tiffany Rios, who failed to advance to Hollywood in spite (or because?) of her shiny audition costume
6 of 10
"Dawg is going to turn into a pussycat right now."
– Ribbing the always nice Randy Jackson as he gave good news to crying Emma Henry, 15, at her audition
7 of 10
"Millions of people in America are really angry because you piss them off so f––ing good."
– Presenting Casey Abrams with an bleeped-out compliment after his performance of Maroon 5's
8 of 10
"Well, you look like you could be one of my ... nope, not gonna say it ... Friends. [You look like you could be] one of my friends."
– Cutting himself off while chatting with hopeful Alyson Jados, who looked a bit like his daughters, after her audition
9 of 10
"Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?"
– Probing the nervous Michael Perotto, who belted out a bizarre version of Proud Mary during auditions
10 of 10
"You are an artist in the truest sense of the word. You took a song by – Nat King Cole who sang, 'Ke-mo, ki-mo spare-o-spare, Ma-hi, ma-ho, ma-rump-sticka-pumpernickle, Soup-bang, nip-cat, polly-mitcha-cameo.' You do what's in your heart."
– Responding to Casey Abram's performance of Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy" by borrowing a few bars from the legendary musician's child-friendly tune, "Ke Mo Ki Mo (The Magic Song)"
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