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The Week's Best Celeb Quotes

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Dave Hogan/Getty

• “I scream a lot!”
Madonna, on how she handles stress, to British Elle

• “I’m quite happy to be thrown around, and hopefully my leg will stay on.”
Heather Mills, on the possibility that her prosthetic leg may come undone during competition on Dancing with the Stars, to TV’s Extra

• “I’d be devastated! He’s my life partner! I’d probably have to get a sex change and try to woo him.”
Sarah Silverman, on how she would react if boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel revealed that he was gay, to the Advocate

• “UGHH! I’m a stress case with a big belly!”
Tori Spelling, chatting about the challenges of opening her new B&B with husband Dean McDermott while being eight months pregnant, on her blog

• “Elisabeth, you are very young, and you are very wrong.”
Rosie O’Donnell, to cohost Hasselbeck during a heated debate on the issue of government access to citizens’ private telephone conversations, on The View

• “My theory is, why would you cry if one of your competitors is kicked off? Be delighted. They know the cameras are on. Trust me.”
– A typically cynical Simon Cowell, on how American Idol contestants manipulate the viewing audience with crocodile tears during elimination shows

Chris Martin
• “It’s a little bit OCD. You want one pair to wear, and soon as it comes out of the box it’s not perfect so you want another. I’m kind of like girls.”
John Mayer, on his sneaker fetish, to XM Satellite Radio

• “I can’t tell you about it, but it’s basically genius.”
– Coldplay’s Chris Martin, (half)-joking about his band’s new song, to the Associated Press

• “I have friends like Stella McCartney or Madonna, and very often our children get together to play. Although usually we leave them in bed and stay to drink a glass of wine.”
Gwyneth Paltrow, on her grownup playdates with famous pals, to Spanish Vogue