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The Week's Best Celeb Quotes

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• “This is just an Internet-Rogaine accident gone terribly, terribly wrong.”
Bruce Willis, after David Letterman accused him of looking like “that Sanjaya guy” when he appeared on The Late Show in a faux-hawk wig

• “Not since the episode of Saved by the Bell, where Tiffani-Amber Thiessen disguised herself as a boy in order to join the school s basketball team have I seen such an impressive mustache.”
Jimmy Kimmel, referring to American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar’s new dusting of facial hair

• “They should be left alone now without reams of stuff being written that I can assure you, from my experience of royal stories, most of which will be complete nonsense.”
– British Prime Minister Tony Blair, speaking out about Prince William’s breakup with longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton, to the BBC

• “For a while I’ve had the feeling that my life won’t be complete if I don’t adopt.”
Penelope Cruz, on her hopes of starting a family, to the Spanish edition of Marie Claire

• “We have about 20 days left [until the season ends,] not that I’m counting.”
T.R. Knight, on being ready to take a break from Grey’s Anatomy after a tough season, to Access Hollywood

• “If there’s one thing about our relationship, there are no surprises.”
David Arquette, on what makes his nearly eight-year marriage to Courteney Cox work, to PEOPLE

• “I’m a fake intellectual. I’m not that well read. Which I’m insecure about since I’ve gotten the [intellectual] niche.”
Adam Brody, on being different from his O.C. persona, to Time

Gwen Stefani
• “I’ve always been on a diet, ever since I was in the sixth grade. It’s an ongoing battle and it’s a nightmare.”
Gwen Stefani, proving she’s just like every other woman when it comes to weight issues, to Harper’s Bazaar

• “I hate to be the one who told you this, but: I told you so.”
Larry Birkhead, on learning the DNA test results that he’s the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s 7-month-old daughter Dannielynn, at a press conference in the Bahamas

• “I’m giving her this damn shower. I don’t have to get her a present as well, do I?”
Felicity Huffman, on what she planned to give fellow Housewife Eva Longoria as a bridal shower gift, to PEOPLE