1 of 23
"Kiss my fat ass."
– An emotional Tyra Banks, on her talk show, responding to critics who poked fun at the former model's recent weight gain
2 of 23
"This is where you and I are different. Because this is all I want to talk about."
– David Letterman, to Paris Hilton when she told the Late Show host she no longer wanted to talk about her stint in jail
3 of 23
"Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don't go grabbin' somebody else's, somebody's husband's [private parts], you understand me? That's very disrespectful."
– Faith Hill, after a fan grabbed husband Tim McGraw's crotch during a concert appearance
4 of 23
"I hate to be the one who told you this, but: I told you so."
– Larry Birkhead, on learning from DNA test results that he is the biological father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn
5 of 23
"It's the most fun I have ever had and. also the biggest pain in the ass I have ever experienced."
– Brad Pitt, on fatherhood
6 of 23
"My own mother told me I didn't have a shot in hell of winning tonight."
– A shocked Katherine Heigl upon winning an Emmy for Grey's Anatomy
7 of 23
"To quote the great Simpsons: Haa-ha!"
– Vindicated Dixie Chick Natalie Maines, channeling animated bully Nelson Muntz, while accepting the best country album Grammy for Not Ready to Make Nice
8 of 23
"It's not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker."
– Nick Lachey to OK Magazine after photos surfaced of he and girlfriend Vannesa Minnillo in a compromising position on vacation in Mexico
9 of 23
"It is totally major!"
– Victoria Beckham, about everything
10 of 23
"Maybe after having kids, if my boobs dropped down to my belly button, I would get them lifted ... Maintenance. But you know, my boobs are real."
– Jessica Simpson, on not ruling out plastic surgery in the future, to Harpers Bazaar
11 of 23
"Don't put it on YouTube."
– Beyonce Knowles, after slipping onstage during a concert performance. Despite her plea, the accident was posted on the website multiple times hours later
12 of 23
"I just saw Lo's Britney."
– Lauren Conrad, shocked that her friend exposed herself in a Vegas nightclub, on an episode of The Hills
13 of 23
"Follow the whiskey."
– Kid Rock, who arrived with "Redneck Woman" singer Gretchen Wilson, on his plans after the Country Music Awards
14 of 23
"I think Jennifer knows how to get pregnant."
– Leah Remini, in May, on rumors that she was trying to convert pal Jennifer Lopez to Scientology to help with fertility
15 of 23
"I don't think much changes when you're 18 – maybe the way people treat you. But I think the only things I can do is buy cigarettes, porn and, if I get in trouble with the law, I'm kind of screwed."
– Hayden Panettiere, on her milestone birthday, to David Letterman
16 of 23
"You are an adult, and I'm not going to be the person for you to explain your thoughts. ... Defend your own insinuations!"
– Elisabeth Hasselbeck, in a split-screen showdown with Rosie O'Donnell on The View
17 of 23
"I feel that I was treated unfairly, and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don't deserve this."
– Paris Hilton, after being sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating probation by driving with a suspended license. The heiress ended up spending a total of 23 well-documented days behind bars.
18 of 23
"Is the world flat? I never thought about it."
– Sherri Shepherd, on The View, after Whoopi Goldberg asked her if she thought the world was flat. The newest co-host later explained that she choked under pressure and didn't understand the question.
19 of 23
"Who cares what Simon Cowell has to say?"
– Former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson, accepting the New York Critics Circle Award for best supporting actress for her role in Dreamgirls. She went on to win the Oscar.
20 of 23
"I'm quite happy to be thrown around and hopefully my leg will stay on."
– Heather Mills, on the possibility of her prosthetic leg coming loose while competing on Dancing with the Stars. It didn't happen.
21 of 23
"It's Britney b----."
– The first words on Britney Spears' "comeback" album Blackout
22 of 23
"I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband."
– Denise Richards, when asked by TV's Extra if she had any post-jail advice for Paris Hilton
23 of 23
"This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom."
– Melissa Etheridge, clutching her Oscar and reveling in her win for Best Song backstage