Where: At the Paris premiere of Spring Breakers
Diagnosis: This was a particularly challenging case for our style surgeons, because there are so many problems presenting themselves. Each star suffers individually from an acute case of “Look at Me!” syndrome, with the end result being that all three of them next to each other causes dizziness and bewilderment in onlookers. Additionally, each star’s look has one toxic element that’s poisoning the rest of their ensemble, and we’re not sure they can recover.
Prescription: A strong dose of the style equivalent of a Valium to tone down every outfit. Once each look has been heavily sedated, the disorienting side effects should abate considerably. As a preventive measure for the future, we recommend the girls exchange their stylists’ numbers to ensure that this over-the-top red carpet clashing does not recur.
Tell us: How would you “cure” these stars’ style?