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Goop’s 2016 Holiday Gift Guide Includes Boob Necklaces, Yurts and Butt Tables (So, Something for Everyone on Your List)

Updated

When the holiday season rolls around, the only thing more exciting than tearing into that pile of gifts on Christmas morning is that feeling when Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Gift Guide is revealed. The team at her lifestyle empire never settle for ordinary. Forget the predictable bath salts and expected socks, they push the boundaries to places that we didn’t think existed. Case in point: Did you know driving lessons from Formula 3 racers were a thing? (Neither did we.) Luckily Paltrow + Co. did not disappoint this year and we broke down their craziest, funniest, most expensive gifts to get on your wish list.

The brand organized the 2016 gift guides into 10 different categories, including items for the “thinker,” the “lover” and a list of “ridiculous” products that somehow managed to outdo their craziest picks from years past. We combined the most shocking fashion and beauty finds to help get your holiday shopping underway.

Good news if you find yourself in a Secret Santa exchange with Kendall Jenner (who famously loves showing off her nipples), because she’ll thoroughly appreciate this Anissa Kermiche “Rubies Boobies” necklace. Or for a more safe-for-work (but by no means less exorbitant) gift, give a $6,850 customizable pet pendant from Irene Neuwirth to show your favorite animal lover that you admire them as much as they adore their pets. There’s no friend who wouldn’t freak over a gift from Alexander McQueen, but a skull umbrella seems a bit frivolous when the first big gust of wind destroys it faster than they unwrapped it. But practicality is not what the holidays are all about at Goop, which is why a pricey $595 silk kimono from Fleur du Mal comes highly recommended.

As far as beauty is concerned, Goop encourages getting all your friends on a fluoride-free dental regimen with this $114-a-tube Rennou-based Theodent toothpaste. (#Reasonable.) They also suggest to upgrade your boyfriend’s stocking from drugstore razors to $2,500 Oneblade Collector’s Edition. And forget a gift card to the spa, bring the spa to your loved one with their very own Clearlight Infrared Sauna for $2,295.

RELATED PHOTOS: A Guide to Shopping for Every Impossible Person in Your Life

While the gift guide does include reasonably-priced items like a cute Pop & Suki camera bag ($195) and Sarah Chloe jewelry ($148), what we really want (no, need) to focus on are some non-fashion related items that were too amazing to miss. We could never forgive ourselves if we didn’t highlight the “sexy” Seletti Toilet Paper Little Butt table to give your loved one (yes, this was in the “Lover” gift guide). Or point out that you can give a $8,300 Groovy Yurt, to… all the people you know who love yurts. A driving lesson is always practical, especially from the Formula 3 Racing School for a mere $1,495-$5,995. But our absolute favorite, is the late actor Dennis Hopper’s personal record collection for… $150,000.

While this was certainly fun, if you’re looking for some options that you can find at your local mall and won’t put you in major credit card debt, check out more gift picks here.

What items are you buying from the Goop Gift Guide? Tell us in the comments below.