Courtesy Splash News Online
Dear Brad Pitt,
We heard the news that you had to cut your hair for a new film. And we wanted to take the time to reach out with some comforting thoughts. For though you may not realize it yet, there are some definite upsides to your new ‘do:
1. You will no longer be at risk of being mistaken for David Spade. You are your own person, and no one — we repeat, no one! — shall compete with your youness ever again.
2. You are one step closer to being named our Sexiest Man Alive for the third time in a row. After all, your hair was short both times in the past, in 1995 and 2000. And you know what they say about good things happening in threes …
3. You won’t have to clutter up your million-dollar movie trailer with hair products upon hair products. After all, your walk-in shower is only made for two people — not two hundred bottles of shampoo.
And so, dear Brad, we leave you with this: You may have had to cut your hair short, but we have no doubt that it won’t be long before you love it.