1 of 10
"I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron."
– Amy Poehler, drawing a laugh-out-loud comparison between director Kathryn Bigelow s nominated film and Bigelow’s former marriage, during her opening monologue with cohost
2 of 10
"The Cecil B. DeMille award says as much about the presenter as it does about the recipient."
– , patting himself on the back while introducing lifetime achievement award winner Jodie Foster
3 of 10
"I m hoping I don t leak anytime soon."
– Homeland winner , on her big post-baby night out at the Globes, to
4 of 10
"Harvey [Weinstein], thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today."
– , expressing gratitude to the Silver Linings Playbook producer while accepting her best actress Golden Globe
5 of 10
"Wow, the cast of Downton Abbey has some amazing weed backstage. I can t even walk properly."
– Parks and Recreation’s Aziz Ansari, after being carried onstage by co-presenter Jason Bateman
6 of 10
"I already did my coming out about 1,000 years ago, back in the Stone Age."
– Jodie Foster, addressing her sexuality while being honored with the Cecil B. DeMille award
7 of 10
"Well if you thought that was showing off, Her Majesty, the Queen of England, is about to parachute in in a couple of minutes to make a last-minute pitch for Skyfall."
– Lincoln actor , poking fun at President Clinton s surprise appearance while taking home the best actor in a drama award
8 of 10
"Thank you for letting me be part of your world for a night. It s amazing, we ve been p–ing ourselves laughing."
– A shocked , talking about her fun mum s night out with a pal during her best original song win for Skyfall
9 of 10
"Julia, Tina, Amy and Zooey have respectively gotten me through middle school, mono, a ruptured eardrum and the acute anxiety that populates my entire life, and I worship them."
– Girls creator Lena Dunham, giving her fellow best TV comedy actress nominees a shout-out while accepting her win
10 of 10
"Congratulations, Lena, I m glad we got you through middle school."
– Globes cohost , mock toasting the twentysomething Girls star