It’s time for the royals to send out a classified ad: Prince George of Cambridge, third in line for the British crown, needs a new nanny. The current holder of the job, 71-year-old Jessie Webb, came out of retirement to help raise the latest royal baby, but is packing up her diaper bag before parents Prince William and Princess Kate travel to Australia in April.
According to the Daily Mail, the royals have already embarked on their search for a new royal baby caregiver. Whichever nanny they find will surely come highly recommended – but if for some reason it doesn’t work out, might we suggest any one of these eight famous nannies from popular culture?
Pros: Royal nursery now self-cleaning! (And polo player Will should be delighted with a nanny who rides horses, even nicked from a carousel.)
Cons: Overreliance on processed sugar to make medicine go down. Also: Flighty – takes off for another job as soon as the wind changes. And should Buckingham Palace worry about a mysterious magician getting too close to the royal family? Remember what happened to the Russians.
Pros: With warts and that snaggletooth, she will never upstage picture-perfect Kate.
Cons: McPhee shows up to care for only the most incorrigible children; if she darkens Kensington Palace’s doorway, it means young George has become a true terror.
Nana, Peter Pan
Pros: As she is an actual sheepdog with no command of human language, she is unlikely to tattle in the British tabloids.
Cons: Will and Kate’s cocker spaniel, Lupo, is already top dog at the Cambridge household.
Maria von Trapp, The Sound of Music
Pros: The original clothing recycler, turning drapes to dresses. Thrifty Kate would approve. Cons: She married the boss!
Fran Fine, The Nanny
Pros: Already has tons of experience working for posh families.
Cons: She also married the boss! (This is becoming a trend.)
Shane Wolfe, The Pacifier
Pros: It can’t be bad to have a Navy SEAL around the royal baby. You know, just for protection.
Cons: Would the Coldstream Guards get jealous?
Charles, Charles in Charge
Pros: Doesn’t charge much; he only asks for room and board.
Cons: Despite what What a Girl Wants might say, a wisecracking teen would probably not be the best fit in Westminster.
Pros: She’s Scottish, which is important at a time like this.
Cons: Would George confuse her with great-granny the Queen?
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