The upcoming book by the former Democratic presidential nominee — What Happened, to be released Sept. 12 — includes deeply personal passages about her highly scrutinized marriage.
“There were times that I was deeply unsure about whether our marriage could or should survive,” writes the former first lady, according to CNN, which obtained an early copy of the memoir. “But on those days, I asked myself the questions that mattered to me: Do I still love him? And can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself — twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes.”
Hillary shared that there are “many, many more happy days than sad or angry ones” with Bill, despite what the public might believe.
“I heard it again on the 2016 campaign … it’s just a marriage on paper now,” she writes, adding, “(He is reading this over my shoulder in our kitchen with our dogs underfoot and in a minute he will reorganize our bookshelves for the millionth time … but I don’t mind because he really loves to organize those bookshelves).”
Hillary and Bill married in October 1975, and the pair’s union hit an agonizing low point when an affair between the then-president and White House intern Monica Lewinsky came to light in 1998.
Hillary told reporter Pamela Brown in a 2016 CNN documentary, “It was really hard. It was painful. And I was so supported by my friends. My friends just rallied around.”
She added that her friends would visit and “try to make me laugh, they would recommend books to read, we’d go for long walks, we’d hang out, you know eat bad food.”
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What Happened lays out what it was like to run against Donald Trump, the mistakes made during the campaign, coping with a “shocking and devastating loss,” and how Clinton has “found the strength to pick herself back up afterward,” according to a release from publisher Simon & Schuster.
“In the past, for reasons I try to explain, I’ve often felt I had to be careful in public, like I was up on a wire without a net,” the former secretary of state writes in the book’s introduction. “Now I’m letting my guard down.”