Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer announced their separation on Tuesday, but the issues that led to the end of their nine-year marriage are not new.
“They’ve been living separate lives for a while,” a source tells PEOPLE, adding: “They have completely different interests and haven’t seemed to be connecting.”
Part of the problem seems to be a personality clash. “He’s extremely private and prefers to stay home, and she’s very social and has tons of girlfriends,” the source explains.
“They haven’t been happy together for a long time,” adds the source. “But they are great parents and they love their children.”
A family friend echoed the couple’s devotion to their children, telling PEOPLE, “It’s a marriage that’s ending, but a bond and a family as strong as any I know. They’re remarkable people. And very supportive of each other.”
The former couple’s love for their two children — daughter Ruby, 9, and son Otis, 7 — was apparent in their jointly issued statement concerning the separation.
“After much soul searching and consideration we have made the decision to separate as a couple,” read the statement to PEOPLE. “As devoted parents, our first priority remains raising our children together with enduring love, respect and friendship.”
Maguire, 41, and Meyer, 39 met in early 2003 and were married four years later in an intimate wedding ceremony in Hawaii, witnessed by a small group of family and friends.
At the time Meyer, a jewelry designer, shared her feelings about the big moment, telling USA Today, “Let’s just say this is truly the best time of my life. I’m walking on air. I’m getting married, starting a family and have an amazing company.”
The actor, who has spoken out about having a rocky childhood, revealed that settling down was a big priority in his life.
“Growing up the way I did, I had a very serious ambition to make some money, to have some security and comfort in my life,” he told Parade magazine in 2007.
Maguire has been keeping a low profile in Hollywood since wrapping up Spider-Man 3 — his final outing with the franchise — in 2007, appearing only in a handful of carefully selected projects including 2013’s The Great Gatsby and 2015’s Pawn Sacrifice, his last film to date.
Maguire and Meyer also attended Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s secret wedding last year (Meyer designed Aniston’s wedding ring), and eventually joined Aniston and Theroux on a group honeymoon trip to Bora Bora that included a slew of other friends.