Jonathon Bobbitt-Miller and his husband, Blair Miller, are determined to give their 3-year-old and 4-year-old sons memorable experiences.
“I want them to have opportunities. Their birth mothers wanted the same thing for them,” Jonathon tells PEOPLE.
Jonathon and Blair, who live in Boston with their sons, have been together for 15 years and wed in 2014. The couple is used to making things work, no matter how daunting the circumstances may be.
Blair, 41, says of growing up gay, “I was always worried. I always thought, ‘I can’t be that or I can’t do that.’ I always thought, ‘There’s no way we can’t get married, I can’t have kids.’ ”
Jonathon convinced Blair they could have it all and the pair embarked on the road to parenthood, which led to the adoption of their two sons, Zeke and Cash.
Last month, their journey culminated in a cross-country trip for the family, resulting in their oldest son, Zeke, not only meeting his birth mother, but also the doctor who delivered him.
Blair says, “We had talked about going to meet his mom and three weeks before we went out he said, ‘I want to meet the doctor who delivered me and gave me to you. When your 4-year-old says that, you think, ‘We should.’ ”
When they reached out to Memorial Hospital in Bakersfield, California, where Zeke was born, officials there were overwhelmed – and promised they would make it happen.
So last month, the two dads and their two sons flew across country.
They hadn’t seen Zeke’s birth mother, 25-year-old BreAnn Higgins, since she’d given him their baby boy.
Zeke admitted he was nervous but excited and Jonathon says the 4-year-old told the doctor he was “happy to be born,,” and shook the doctors hand. He also noticed his green eyes matched his mom’s eyes.
“I made the right decision. I made the best decision for him and for all of us,” Higgins tells PEOPLE. “I helped a family start and I gave him his best chance and for that I feel extremely proud and thankful.”
The men have also stayed in touch with 3-year-old Cash’s birth mother, Chloe Schaefer.
“I wanted to be in touch, it’s the only way I could do it. It’s still a little tough. Sometimes I think about what could have been, but I’m really happy for the life that he has now. His dads are amazing people,” says Schaefer, 25.
All four parents consider themselves advocates for adoption.
“There is a stigma with adoption and we’re going against every bit of that. If more people will adopt, the impact you can have and the family you can have…my minds been blown. It’s not about us, it’s only about these two boys. We didn’t have kids for us, we have kids because we have love to give and so many other people do as well,” Blair says.
Jonathon adds, “I feel like we have something more special because we fought so hard for these guys. We realize we have something very special.”