“The hardest thing for me about going blind is wondering if I’ll be able to see my children’s faces, um, or if I’ll forget them,” Derrick Boudwin says.
The Salt Lake City, Utah father of three suffers from retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative disease that causes progression vision loss and eventually blindness. At 35, he’s already lost a significant portion of his vision, KUTV reports.
When Boudwin started losing his vision at age 25, it “took the life out of him,” his wife, Cami Boudwin told the news station.
“It ended up affecting my emotional state much more than I ever thought,” Derrick added.
Then, his wife suggested he get more involved in music, which had been a lifetime hobby.
Now having released a studio album, “Ever Dimming Room,” and two music videos, Boudwin says that music, “has possibly made the difference between life and death with me.”
His music presents an honest depiction of his daily struggles, like the pains he takes to commit his children’s faces to memory.
He told the website CelebMix that creating music that revealed the sadness, anger and heartbreak he felt allowed him to move past those feelings.
“The depth of each song relates directly to a unique experience I had personally, or someone very close to me,” he explained. “Most of the songs are about difficult things, and they’re all real.”
That’s not to say the music has allowed him to rise above every fear that comes with his diagnosis.
“My biggest fear is that I won’t be able to be the husband and father that I always wanted to be my entire life,” he told KUTV.
According to his wife, music is helping Derrick be that person.
“[Music] kind of brings a spark back into his eyes that’s been gone for a little while,” Cami said.