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Viola Davis’ Story About Meryl Streep and Apple Pie Is Both Terrifying and Amazing

Updated

Paul Drinkwater/NBC via USA TODAY NETWORK

Before Meryl Streep gave her fiery Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech at the Golden Globes on Sunday night, Viola Davis gave an introduction that offered a glimpse into her personality — by way of pie.

“That’s the first thing you notice about her: She tilts her head back with that sly suspicious smile,” she said of Streep. “And you think, ‘Do I have something in my teeth? Or does she want to kick my ass?’ Which is not going to happen.”

The conversation, reenacted by Davis, then takes a turn to the authenticity of baked goods.

Streep: “What’d you do last night Viola?”
Davis: “Oh, I cooked an apple pie.”
Streep: “Did you use Pippin apples?”
Davis: “Pippin apples, What the hell is Pippin apples? I used Granny Smith apples.”
Streep: “Did you make your own crust?”
Davis: “No, I used store bought crust. That’s what I did.”
Streep: “Then you didn’t make an apple pie, Viola.”
Davis: “Well that’s because I spent all my time making collard greens! I make the best collard greens. I use smoked turkey, chicken stock and my special BBQ sauce. Silence. I shut her down.”
Streep: “Well, they don’t taste right unless you use ham hocks. If you don’t use ham hocks, it doesn’t taste the same.”

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If this exchange has you feeling both confused and shook, you are not alone. The good people of Twitter agreed.

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All we know is we are personally down with using Granny Smith apples in pie (though homemade crust is non-negotiable), and we definitely, definitely want Viola Davis’ collard greens recipe.