Citing text message evidence released on Monday, the Boston Globe reports that Michelle Carter continued to reach out to Conrad Roy after his death, sending his phone dozens of messages — including one in which she apologized for her actions.
“I read this thing online about trying to agree with the person and that would make them change their mind because they see how stupid they’re being. But it didn’t work for you and I did it for too long,” the Globe reports the Carter wrote in a text message on July 21, 2014, when she was 17.
“You probably thought I was okay with it and You talked about being in heaven and being my angel and at the time I went along with it because i knew you weren’t gonna do anything. But you [expletive] did it and I’m so sorry I didn’t save you,” Carter, now 20, wrote to her deceased boyfriend.
Carter was charged with involuntary manslaughter for allegedly coaxing Roy, 18, into killing himself.
Roy was found dead in his truck on July 13, 2014, from carbon monoxide poisoning. A hose attached to a portable generator fed the fatal fumes into his vehicle, which was parked outside of a Kmart in Fairhaven, Massachusetts.
At her trial, closing arguments for which concluded Tuesday afternoon, her defense team argued Roy would have committed suicide with or without Carter’s influence. But prosecutors alleged the girl was instrumental in his fatal decision, and encouraged him to die via text so she could get attention as his grieving girlfriend.
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WATCH: ‘It’s Painless and Quick’: The Latest on Trial of Michelle Carter,On Trial for Allegedly Urging Boyfriend to Kill Himself
A judge is now mulling a verdict in the bench trial.
The Globe alleges that in several of the text messages, Carter expressed her love for Roy, and updated him on how she was doing.
In a text sent on the morning after Roy killed himself, Carter, who prosecutors allege listened to Roy’s final moments, appears concerned. “Did you do something??! Conrad I love you so much please tell me this is a joke,” she wrote in the message.
Two days later, she sent another message reading, “I love you so much.”
The paper reports she sent more than 80 messages after his death.
“Sweet dreams babe, I know youre up there smiling down on me,” reads another message. “I’ll always smile back. I love you forever.”
In another, she expresses regret he couldn’t celebrate her birthday with her, according to the Globe.
“Good night babe, I love you and miss you,” she said in another message
If convicted, Carter faces up to 20 years in prison.
Suicide Prevention: What to Know
Experts say some common warning signs of suicide include discussing a desire to die or feeling anxious or hopeless, like a burden, or trapped or in pain; withdrawing from others; extreme mood swings, including anger and recklessness; and abnormal sleep patterns (sleeping too much or too little).
Many suicides have multiple causes and are not triggered by one event, according to experts, who underline that suicidal crises can be overcome with help. Where mental illness is a factor, it can be treated.
Reaching out to those in need is a simple and effective preventative measure, experts say.
If you or someone you know is showing warning signs of suicide, consider contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK, texting the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or seeking help from a professional.