Emily Strohm
August 24, 2017 08:00 AM

Yolanda Hadid was just starting a new life with husband David Foster when she was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2012.

Symptoms like joint pain, exhaustion, insomnia, and anxiety plagued her daily and simple things like answering an email became difficult. Her fatigue became so severe that even walking from the bedroom to the bathroom was a struggle. As a result, her relationship with David drastically changed.

“All of a sudden all of the things we shared, all of the things we used to love to do together, go for walks in the morning, having a studio in the house and blasting music all day, having dinner parties, that all shut down,” she says. “I couldn’t participate in that life anymore.”

Despite Yolanda’s best efforts, she was unable to maintain her former lifestyle and her illness took a toll on her marriage.

  • For more on Yolanda’s battle with Lyme disease, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday

“I’m starting to feel that David is unhappy with the fact that I can’t be by his side the way that I used to be,” she writes in her memoir, Believe Me: My Battle With the Invisibility of Lyme Disease. “I try to make light of it and joke that he married a lemon. It’s sad but true. I went from being the funny girlfriend who was up for anything and had endless energy to the wife who is too sick to be by his side.”

RELATED VIDEO: Yolanda Hadid on Lyme Disease Battle: “I’m Getting Better”

“He lost his wingman, his partner in crime, and I fell as if he’s starting to get impatient with my recovery. I understand that even brief periods of illness can strain important relationships in your life. A chronic condition like mine, one that has consumed years of our lives, poses enormous challenges.”

The couple split in December 2015 and Yolanda left Los Angeles to start over in New York and to be closer to her three children Gigi, Bella and Anwar Hadid. Despite going through heartbreak and devastating loss in the midst of failing health, Yolanda says she has no bad feelings towards her ex husband.

“I had a great seven year run with him and I will always hold that I high regards and have gratitude for that time together,” she says. “If he didn’t leave the marriage I would not be where I am today.”

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