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In Her Own Words: Yolanda Foster's Harrowing 3-Year Battle with Lyme Disease

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This week, Yolanda Foster revealed that two of her children, Bella and Anwar Hadid, were diagnosed with Lyme disease.

The 51-year-old former model has been open about her own 3-year struggle with the illness on social media and on her blog for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Here are some of the most moving sentiments Foster has shared about battling the disease.

On the Devastating Effects of the Disease
“I have lost the ability to read, write, or even watch TV, because I can’t process information or any stimulation for that matter. It feels like someone came in and confiscated my brain and tied my hands behind my back to just watch and see life go by without me participating in it.” – Writing on her blog Jan. 15

On the Struggle for Proper Treatment
“I wasted the first year trying to get diagnosed and spent the next two trying to find a cure. I have gone from the conventional long-term antibiotics to about every holistic protocol there is to offer.”

“The most frustrating thing is that there is medical data on Lyme and spirochete infections going back all the way to 1908, but yet we still don’t have proper diagnostic testing, a vaccine, or a cure for Lyme disease while we are living in the United States of America, the most extraordinary country in the world. Something doesn’t add up here, and I will make it my life mission to figure this out, because nobody deserves to suffer this way in 2015.” – Writing on her blog Jan. 15

On How Her Daily Life Has Changed
“I feel so raw and vulnerable as I make my way through the maze of this debilitating disease. Not having access to the “search button” in my brain makes me really insecure and is a huge loss for me when trying to participate in life.”

“My world has become very small. I have moved into an apartment with my husband and son in order to have a more manageable scope of responsibilities while I recover slowly and learn to take life one day at a time. Getting well is my full-time job these days. It took me a while to learn the true meaning of patience and surrender, but I have finally accepted that healing doesn t happen on our schedule. It doesn t have a clock or a calendar.”– Writing on her blog April 1

On Helping Fellow Lyme Disease Sufferer Avril Lavigne Cope
“I took Avril under my wing when she first got sick and shared all I know. I am so proud of her for going public and helping us bring awareness to this debilitating disease.” – In an April interview with Bravo

RELATED VIDEO: Avril Lavigne Opens up about Her Health Crisis: ‘I Was Bedridden for 5 Months’


On the Hidden Destructive Power of Lyme Disease
“That’s the most frustrating part of this disease – you look so normal from the outside it’s a silent killer, an invisible disability that unfortunately is tough.” – On Watch What Happens Live Dec. 22, 2014

On Trusting in God’s Purpose
“The path forward isn t completely clear. As I turn each corner, new obstacles arise, but I am a determined warrior, and even though this has brought me to my knees, I know God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling. So even though my life may not be perfect for now, I try to find a blessing in every day.” – Writing on her blog April 1

On Inner Strength
“Don’t confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness, those are actually the days I fight my hardest…” – On Instagram in September

On What the Disease Has Taught Her
“Throughout this journey, I have finally, after 51 years, met the true core of my being. I understand pain and suffering in a dimension I never knew existed. I am finding my own strength at its best, yet in the worst time of my life. I am getting to the most raw and vulnerable part of me and it has changed my perspective towards life and human beings for the rest of my life. – Writing on her blog April 1

On Missing Out on her Kids’ Big Moments
“I ve cried my eyes out for missing so many precious moments as their careers take off, while I ve been forced to to watch from the sidelines with great pride, inspiration and hope for a front row seat one day in the near future.” – Writing on her blog April 1

“I am so sorry for all the important things I have missed in your life these past four years. I used to be a pretty cool, smart, multi-tasking, kickass mom. But all three of you, all three of my children really got short-changed with a dumb blonde in the white robe, that mostly lives her life in bed.”–Addressing her children at the Global Lyme Alliance inaugural gala on Thursday.

On Finding Out Her Bella and Anwar Also Have Lyme Disease
“When my two youngest children, Bella and Anwar, were diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease in early 2012, watching my babies struggle in silence in order to support me in my journey, struck the deepest core of hopelessness inside of me.”

“I will walk to the end of the earth to find a cure so that you can live a healthy life that you deserve. No child should suffer the way that you do … I thank you both for your extraordinary selflessness during this journey. Your unwavering love and compassion has kept me alive and fighting through the darkest days of my life.” – At the Global Lyme Alliance inaugural gala

❤️Until you are broken you don't really know what you're made of……

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