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A Selection of Sterling Beards From the World Beard & Moustache Competition (and What I Believe Their Owners Call Them)

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Over 300 of the world’s most hirsute men descended on Leogang, Austria, this past weekend for the World Beard and Moustache Championships.

The men competed in an assortment of categories that involved three groups: moustache, partial beard, and full beard. The competition takes place every few years. Norway hosted in 2011; Alaska was face-hair central two years prior.

Apparently, the competition only dates back to the 1970s, according to its website. The first modern version of the competition was in 1990, in Germany, and from there, the beards were off to the races.

Here are five of my favorite beards, along with the names I believe their owners have privately bestowed upon them.

Jan Hetfleisch/Getty
“Starburst,” aka “Dazzle” aka “The Mad Professor”

Jan Hetfleisch/Getty
L-R: “Grizzly Adams,” “The Many Arms of Shiva,” “Sweepy McPushbroom” and “Old Grey Whistle Test”

Jan Hetfleisch/Getty
L-R: “Guy Smiley,” “He Who Must Not Be Named,” “The Rambler,” and (foreground), “Interrupting Thomas”

Jan Hetfleisch/Getty
“The Kraken”

Jan Hetfleisch/Getty
L-R: “Kaiser Brimley,” “Mr. Subtle” “The Intimidator,” and “I’m Actually Outside Your Window Right Now and My Beard Can Smell Your Fear”