Singer Lily Allen, famous in her native England for her healthy body image, has had a moment of weakness.
On her blog on Saturday, she wrote: “I used to pride myself on being strong-minded and not being some stupid girl obsessed with the way I look. I felt like it didn’t matter if I was a bit chubby because I’m not a model, I’m a singer.
“[But] I’m afraid I am not strong and have fallen victim to the evil machine. I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle. I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery and laser liposuction.”
Her rep told PEOPLE on Monday: “It’s important to know that the whole power of her blogs is that they are a very direct communication of how she is feeling at that time. I spoke to her today and she is feeling a lot better about things.”
Previously, the 22-year-old “Smile” singer has spoken out against the size-zero fad, and on May 9 launched Lily Loves, a clothing line for the British retailer New Look that she said was designed with “real women” in mind.
The clothes hit stores just eight days after Kate Moss’s line debuted at the rival fashion chain Topshop.
Last week, Allen told U.K. magazine Grazia: “Kate’s clothes are just for skinny, perfect girls. I won’t be buying any. … My bum and legs are revolting, which is why I wear dresses all the time. And I put in wider straps to hide the arm bits we all hate. I was really excited about doing my collection because I know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable in clothes.”
Allen, currently touring the U.S., recently cancelled a series of shows after complaining that her schedule was too grueling.
Update: On Monday, Allen wrote on her blog: “Hi guys, I’m sorry if I worried anyone with the blog I wrote yesterday. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, I’ve been reading all your comments and they have made me realize there is more to life than being thin! So thank you.
“I think I was just having a hard time last week. … Seeing my picture in so many newspapers next to Kate Moss’s made me feel grotesque momentarily. I know it’s a silly way to feel and I am incredibly proud of myself and my achievements over the past year. … I sha’nt be getting any surgery, instead I will be eating lots of bread and pasta and thinking about what to write about for the next album.”