Let’s begin with full disclosure: My name is Whitney, and I’m a Kardashianholic.
When Kim Kardashian’s game app was released, I judged everyone who downloaded it, including my friends and coworkers. But one night I got curious and decided to try the app out for an hour, just to see what all the fuss was about. (“It’s totally job related,” I lied to myself.)
Then everything changed.
I became addicted, needing to get to the A List as quickly as possible. I found myself half-watching my favorite TV shows because I was so invested in the game. I started Googling weird phrases, like, “Which fire hydrants give you energy Kim Kardashian app” (it makes total sense, I promise). I actually said out loud, in my office, “I can’t wait to get home and play this game in my sweatpants.”
Then I realized, everyone around me was also addicted. And while I’ve decided to put my dignity aside for the sake of journalism, I asked everyone else at the PEOPLE offices to confess – anonymously – the ways in which the game has taken over their lives.
So here, without any names or judgment, are the times in which PEOPLE employees realized they had hit rock bottom in their Kim Kardashian app addiction – complete with Kim K gifs.
This is a safe space, so feel free to share your own wake-up calls in the comments below (or just judge us, that’s fine, too).
"I was in the middle of an 8-hour photo shoot but wanted to go to bed, so I considered setting an alarm to wake me up in the middle of the night so I could finish the photo shoot with 5 stars."
"I accidentally called my real-life boyfriend ‘Dirk,’ which is the name of my boyfriend in the game."
"I spent my entire iTunes gift card, which was a Christmas present from my mom, on K Stars."
"I didn’t have reception at a Broadway show, so I thought about stepping outside to get enough of a signal to finish my photo shoot."
"When I woke up this morning, the first thing I said was, ‘I need more K Stars.’ "
"I spent $80 on the game and lied to my husband about it, so to make it better, I spent four hours figuring out the free hack."
"I created a soundtrack to listen to as I play the game because it helps me feel more like Kim. It’s basically just a bunch of Pussycat Dolls songs."
"My friends and I have a group text message chain in which we support each other on our photo shoots and dates."
"I skipped a happy hour so I could sit at home and finish an appearance at the Brew Palms."
"I had a dream that I was hitting birds and trees, waiting for cash to come out."