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Let's Talk Turkey: Which Bird Should the President Pardon?

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Getty; Zuma

Judging by their names, they already sound like snacks. But in fact, Caramel and Popcorn are both trying desperately not to get eaten.

They are the two turkeys locked in a battle this week for the most hallowed prize in turkeydom: the traditional Thanksgiving pardon from President Obama.

And they need your vote.

At first glance, they seem remarkably alike. Both are males, both were born July 8, and both are roughly the same size – at 2 feet high and 38 lbs. 4 oz., Caramel is just an inch taller and a pound heavier than Popcorn.

But look closer, and you’ll realize these birds are night and day. Caramel’s walk is “steady and deliberate,” says the White House, while Popcorn’s is a “proud strut.” Caramel gobbles in “quick, clear and frequent” tones, while Popcorn speaks in “more garbled, longer notes.”

Caramel’s favorite food is soybean meal. Popcorn prefers corn. And perhaps most tellingly, Caramel likes Lady Gaga, while Popcorn is more of a Beyoncé bird.

Now it’s on you to make a decision most fowl: Who should get pardoned, Caramel or Popcorn?

Visit the White House site to vote. But don’t feel too much pressure. The sad truth is, neither candidate is likely to have a long career after this campaign is over.