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What If Lauryn Hill Were a Character on Orange Is the New Black?

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Lauryn Hill fans had much to be thankful for this week, as the Grammy-winning hip-hop star performed a Thanksgiving eve show at N.Y.C.’s Bowery Ballroom.

This was Hill’s first onstage appearance since serving three months in federal prison for tax evasion. In fact, the minimum-security, all-female facility in Danbury, Conn., where Hill was incarcerated just happens to be the same one that inspired Netflix’s hit series Orange Is the New Black. While the show is set at a prison in Litchfield, N.Y., it’s based on the Danbury institution, where author Piper Kerman also did time.

So, we got to thinking: If Hill appeared on Season 2 of OITNB, how would the former Fugee fit in at the Litch? Here are some plotlines we imagined for her.

1. Piper names new line of artisanal bath products “Just Like Water” after Lauryn’s song.

Taylor Schilling in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
2. Lauryn announces plans to release new song “Dandelion”, based on Crazy Eyes’s poetry.
Uzo Aduba in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
3. Sophia teaches Lauryn how to fashion eccentric outfit entirely from duct tape.
Laverne Cox in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
4. Taystee and Poussey fight over who’ll duet with Lauryn at this year’s Christmas pageant.
Samira Wiley, Danielle Brooks, Pablo Schreiber and Lea DeLaria in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
5. Pennsatucky asks Lauryn to sing “Forgive Them Father” while performing baptism on other inmates.
Taryn Manning in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
6. Alex and Piper join Lauryn for stirring rendition of “Ex-Factor.”
Laura Prepon and Taylor Schilling in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
7. Lauryn ruffles feathers when she complains that Red’s cooking isn’t up to snuff.
Kate Mulgrew and Natasha Lyonne in <em>Orange Is the New Black</em>
8. Lauryn’s flashback episode recalls time on the set of Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit as well as Zach Braff s bar mitzvah, where she and Nicky first met.
(In a Sliding Doors moment, we see that Larry was also invited but attended another bar mitzvah that night.)