“Some of this sex advice had me laughing out loud!” wrote Kardashian, 32. “I’m all for experimenting with your sex life and bringing your A game under the sheets, but some of the tips in Cosmopolitan magazine are too cray even for me.”
Up first? Feeding each other ice cream — in the dark.
“I don’t want to feed ice cream to anyone unless it’s in a restaurant, LOL,” said Kardashian. “And even then it would only be one bite. You know I’m Khlo-C-D, too, so nothing sounds worse to me than spilling ice cream in my bed.”
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Kardashian revealed she’s down to fool around with ice (“I’ve been kissed when someone had ice in his mouth before and it felt really good”) but maintains it has to “be a natural thing.”
So how does she feels about keeping your eyes open during a hook-up?
“That scares me,” admits Kardashian. “I would be like, ‘OMG, what?! What are you looking at?!’ I think I’d either start laughing or get mad. Like, ‘What are you f—ing looking at?’ ”
The reality star is down for some “role-playing,” but insists “you have to do it to your own personality.”
“It just depends though, because you don’t want to be too crazy,” she adds. “Sometimes the guy might be like, ‘WTF is wrong with you?’ ”
One thing Kardashian isn’t about? A certain Cosmo sex tip that involves pressing a fork firmly into different parts of your partner’s body, including butt cheeks, chest and thighs.
“I don’t even know what to say or how someone even thought to do this,” said Kardashian. “I’m not into this one.”
And last but not least, Kardashian definitely isn’t down to play the “commercial game.” (For the uninitiated, this apparently involves getting it on during the commercials of your favorite show, then untangling as soon as the show comes back.)
“It’s too short — and what if you’re watching Friends?” demands Kardashian. “I mean, no one is getting off to Chandler.”
Keeping Up with the Kardashians returns Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on E!