What would Kurt Cobain look like today? How about Jimi Hendrix? That was the question Sachs Media Group recently asked of photo restoration and manipulation company PhoJoe: The end result is this series of hypothetically-aged portraits of deceased musicians. Enjoy the twinge of nostalgia, then tell us – what do you speculate each of these musicians would be doing right now?
In 2013, Elvis Presley presides over the largest musician-owned eatery chain in the United States, an all-you-can-eat buffet called Hunks & Hunks O’ Burnin’ Love. Kenny Rogers cries himself to sleep every night, lamenting Kenny Roger’s Roasters perennial #2 slot. Also, in this alternate universe, Lisa Marie never married Michael Jackson.
In 2013, Bob Marley is elected president-king for life of Jamaica. His first act is to make sure that people realize he has more albums than just Legend. Then, he somehow manages to legalize marijuana worldwide, in a precedent-breaking move of global consensus.
Given how much John Lennon resembles a literature professor in this photo, we fantasize that that’s exactly what he’d have become. Lennon splits his time between Cambridge and NYU, his lectures have a wait list a mile long every semester, and a “John Lennon Book Club” sticker becomes the most sought-after prize in contemporary literature, surpassing the Nobel Prize.
Jim Morrison eventually got (relatively) clean and now hosts a popular NPR segment where he discusses old blues records, poetry and barbecue called “Cookin’ With the Lizard King.” He and Terry Gross golf every Sunday.
Between sporadic releases and tours, Janis Joplin became the greatest grandmother in the world, and dotes on her extended family and many cats from the comfort of her sprawling Texas home. She also runs an Etsy store that specializes in scarves.
Confounding doctors everywhere and in complete defiance of the laws of nature, Jimi Hendrix never goes deaf. By 2025, his version of the national anthem has replaced the original, and by 2050, few – if any – people remember when it was sung at sporting events, instead of the current tradition, where the entire stadium simply air-guitars along for the duration.
Given Kurt Cobain’s love for his daughter and his disdain for the media and stardom, we like to think that the Cobain of this picture eventually moved to Portland, remained wholly devoted to Frances Bean, and drives a Prius. He DJs (very) infrequently, turns down every interview request, and enjoys the occasional craft beer.