David Fisher/Rex USA
Rennie Dyball
September 15, 2014 10:30 AM

A lot can change after nine years of marriage. Even for A-listers.

“You can’t expect to be courted all the time, and I don’t want to court him right now – I don’t have the energy!” Jennifer Garner says of husband Ben Affleck in InStyle magazine’s October cover story.

“But we’re definitely in a very mindful place where we’re making an effort to be together, do things at the same time, and be loving.”

Add three children into the mix, of course, and that further changes the dynamic.

“When we had our first [child] we had only been together a year. We were babies. It happened so fast, I hardly remember what we were like before the kids got here,” says Garner, 42, of Violet, 8½, Seraphina, 5, and Samuel, 2. “Now we’re just starting to go away for a night here and there.”

Jennifer Garner
Courtesy InStyle

She and Affleck, 42, who has been hard at work portraying a brooding, brawny Batman, may be in sync when it comes to making time for overnight dates, but they’ve got decidedly different roles when it comes to parenting.

RELATED: Ben Affleck Takes Jennifer Garner Down with Him in Ice Bucket Challenge

“I know who wants what lunch, and I’ve done all the school paperwork and filled out the emergency cards. Ben doesn’t know that stuff exists,” says Garner.

“He is in charge of laughter. No matter how much I tickle them or toss them or chase them around, it’s not the same. If I’m the slow, steady drumbeat, he’s the jazz.”

The October issue of InStyle hits newsstands Friday.

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