Veronica’s teen angst had a body count, and now it has a score! Rev your chainsaws, because the 1989 dark comedy Heathers is being adapted into an off-Broadway musical.
After a successful run in Los Angeles, Heathers: The Musical is set for a March 2014 debut on stage in New York City. While Winona Ryder and Christian Slater probably won’t reprise their roles, the show is bound to be better than eating a brain tumor for breakfast.
The thought of Heathers set to song is just “so very.” It makes us yearn for more musical adaptations of our favorite teen movies; here are our top 5 contenders.
1. Mean Girls
On Wednesdays we break into song! The pink-coated, character-driven high school world of The Plastics just begs to be put to music. “Jingle Bell Rock” is choreographed and ready to go. Glen Coco could finally reveal his identity through a ballad to his secret admirers. Plus, it’s the perfect vehicle for Lindsay Lohan to give her singing career a second chance. This musical needs to happen – and it actually might.
Finally, an opportunity for Coolio and Tupac’s “Rollin’ With the Homies” to get the Broadway attention it deserves. Think Clueless on stage would be a simple endeavor? As if! Much like its movie counterpart, this production would be a spectacle of wardrobe changes and quests for love backed by the rhythmic boops and beeps of retro cellphones.
3. Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Unpack the leg warmers and Aqua Net if you want Dance TV to come to life. Girls Just Want to Have Fun has the moves thanks to its fictional dance-off show, now all it needs is a few more songs. A couple calls to Cyndi Lauper, Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt and Shannen Doherty and this ’80s flick could become the go-to musical for a girls’ night out. Dancing in heaven, indeed.
4. The Craft
The ’90s actress powerhouse that is The Craft has the stuff that dark musicals are made of. And by stuff we mean teen angst, dreamy boys, seances and the sleepover pastime “Light as Feather, Stiff as a Board.” Sorry Elphaba, but Wicked has been on Broadway for 10 years, it’s time for some younger witches (and post-grunge music) to have their moment.
5. Dazed and Confused
Let’s get L-I-V-I-N. Teen movie musicals don’t have to be fluffy slumber party fare. Dazed and Confused is pre-packaged with your karaoke favorites. Think of it as Hair‘s less motivated little brother, or Rock of Ages‘s stoned uncle. It’s subversive, goofy, genuine and ageless (just like them high school girls). Let’s party at the moon tower one more time – who’s in?
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