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It's hard to imagine a time when PEOPLE's 2012 Sexiest Man Alive wasn't ruling the box office (and our hearts). While Tatum famously worked as a stripper after he dropped out of the University of South Florida, fewer people know he played the role of deejay in a 2002 Pepsiacommercial. (Backstory: He didn't know how to deejay. That's the power of Channing Tatum.)
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Do you long for the good old days when DiCaprio was fresh-faced and out partying at clubs rather than scruffy and running around shirtless with water guns? Us, too. Luckily, we can watch this vintage video of him promoting Orico credit cards in the '90s.
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If you understand this 2008 ad directed by Wes Anderson and starring Pitt, you're ahead of us. We don't know why a Japanese cell phone company wanted something shot in France, but what we do know is that we'll happily watch anything that features Pitt wearing an all-yellow ensemble. Or, you know, anything that features Brad Pitt wearing anything.
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We're not sure whether to laugh or be disturbed by this Japanese energy drink ad from the '90s, which features the muscle man in a series of flamboyant outfits, running on top of cars and morphing into different things. Tip: Watch 'til the end.
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Seemingly reprising his Zoolander role, Stiller promotes Kirin beer in this 1999 Japanese ad – that is, until he gets turned into a block of ice and is trampled by a gang of football players. Hate it when that happens.
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In another commercial for Kirin beer that's even wackier than Stiller's – a feat we did not think was possible – Ford is just chilling, naked and sweaty, in a steam room with a pal. They're both drinking imaginary beers until their craving for real beer (Kirin, of course) overwhelms them, and they rush out of the steam room to find some.
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Cage has never seemed more in his element than in this series of bizarre commercials for Pachinko, a Japanese pinball-like game, from a few years ago. We like to imagine this as one extended improv skit from Cage's twisted imagination.
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We don't know how this 2010 video went from a woman pounding a live fish with a gavel to Chuck Norris passing out in a chair – or how any of this involves T-Mobile phones – and we don't really care. We're just excited to be a part of the journey.
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Who knew the D-o-double-g could speak German, let alone sing it? The rapper dazzles in a dashing tux in this German Vybe Mobile commercial that has him stepping out of a refrigerator. And for good measure, sexy women emerge from the washing machine. Because nothing sells cell phone plans like humans popping out of household appliances.
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In this hyper-sexual French ad for Schweppes from 2011, Thurman discusses the sparkling beverage as if it were a lover: " I love Schweppes. And I need to have it all the time. I like to have Schweppes with strangers. I like having Schweppes at home. Or sometimes in a taxi."
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Why is he singing the days of the week? Why isn't he wearing pants? Where did that baby come from? What is the ad for? These are just some of the questions from this Japanese commercial that will haunt/amuse us forever.
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A throwback commercial that also lets us enjoy one of our favorite throwback jams, "Sometimes." Incredible. Watching vintage Spears enjoy Japanese gummy candy Mikatuto and dance around in her girlie pink private jet will make everyone's inner 10-year-old girl squeal.