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Happy 30th Birthday Footloose: It's Time to Cut ... Twerkloose!

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A young rebel rides into town alone and starts a dancing revolution against the wishes of the local elites, who think this youthful hedonism is all too much – the plot of the Kevin Bacon classic Footloose clearly bears no similarities to the world of today.

But wait.

As the film that encouraged us all to cut our feet loose celebrates its 30th anniversary on Feb. 17, it’s time to imagine a modern update. No, not the 2011 remake that is – unconscionably – the No. 1 Google result for “Footloose.”

Instead, let’s envision a different new Footloose, one that stars the one woman in America whose dance moves (solo or otherwise) can still cause a stir.

We’ve taken the trouble to mock up some storyboards for this million-dollar idea below. Check them out, and then give us a call, Hollywood!

Miley Cyrus steps into Kevin Bacon’s high-waisted jeans and tank top for this Footloose remake.

After tiring of a life of fame, Cyrus moves to a small town where twerking is banned and tries to make friends.

But it doesn’t take long before her tongue-waggling behavior starts turning heads.

Cyrus’s tractor-riding know-how helps her get by, but is it enough?

After several twerk-less weeks, Cyrus finally finds a place to release her moves in private.

Reinvigorated by the power of twerk, Cyrus decides to make a change.

She forms a plan with her supportive father to have twerking accepted.

In the end, Cyrus brings her best moves to the town dance and blows the locals away.

The kids are finally allowed to twerk! Everybody cut loose!

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