On Monday of this week, Ethan Zohn shared news that no one wanted to hear: Three months of intense chemotherapy had not been enough for him to beat the Hodgkin’s disease that had been diagnosed in April.
Now, Zohn shares a video diary he taped for PEOPLE just days after learning the news himself.
“I got some bad news the other day,” Zohn, 35, reveals on camera. “The doctor called, and she said that the results of my one-month follow-up visit look worse than they did before.”
WATCH: Ethan Undergoes Final Chemo Session
Zohn discloses there is now activity in his lymph nodes. He also tells PEOPLE that two small cancerous nodules have grown in a different location in his body – separate from the mango-sized mass in his chest that doctors had found last spring.
“No one was expecting this,” says the Survivor winner. “Hodgkin’s is one of the most curable cancers out there, so you can imagine I was completely shocked, and floored, and speechless.”
Last week, Zohn began a powerful clinical trial that will combine additional chemo with intense, in-patient radiation and stem-cell replacement therapy in the hopes of “hitting the reset button” on his body, he says. The stem-cell replacement will keep him in a hospital for 30 days straight, probably starting in December, he says.
WATCH: Ethan Thanks Fans for ‘Awesome’ Support
“You’ve got to use all those bits of yourself that are pissed off, and frustrated, and annoyed – that’s the stuff that has to give you power and hope to battle through it,” Zohn says in the video. “I’m gonna have to carry on, and I mean yeah. There’s really no other option.”
Zohn also thanked PEOPLE.com viewers for “sticking with me and supporting me” who over the past few months have tuned into his series of videos. “It really helps me a lot to see that you’re watching,” he says.
For more on Ethan’s ongoing battle with cancer, keep coming back to PEOPLE.com.