Community star Donald Glover has posted a series of rambling, troubling notes – all written longhand on hotel stationery – to his Instagram account, revealing, “I’ve been sick this year. This is the first time I’ve felt helpless.”
The 30-year-old actor-rapper, widely considered the breakout star of the comedy, which returns to NBC for its fifth season, addressed many deep personal and professional issues in the seven letters posted Oct. 14.
“I feel like I’m letting everyone down. I’m afraid people hate who I really am. I’m afraid I hate who I really am,” he wrote. “I’m afraid my parents won’t live long enough to see my kids I’m scared [my girl’s] still in love with that dude.”
According to The Los Angeles Times, Glover will appear in fewer episodes of Community this season in order to explore other acting and music gigs.
He is set to star in Atlanta, a new comedy series on FX, and release his latest album, Because the Internet, under the alter ego Childish Gambino, in December.
Despite the outward success, Glover wrote, “I’m afraid of the future,” and he addressed his reduced role on Community. “I didn’t leave Community to rap I’m afraid [Community creator] Dan Harmon hates me,” he wrote.
Glover also addressed his insecurities with his record label, writing, “The label doesn’t want me to release in December cause it’s not a holiday record, and I’m not a big artist.”
He seemed to sum up his emotional state in one letter, writing: “I got really lost last year. But I can’t be lonely tho. Cause we’re all here. We’re all stuck here.”