1 of 9
"I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't perfect and bitchin' and just winning every second."
– Raving about his life to The Alex Jones Show
2 of 9
"[That way of life] was written for normal people, people who aren't special, people who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."
– Explaining why he won't slip back into addiction, on Today
3 of 9
"I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big."
– Explaining why he wasn't planning on attending the Oscars, on Pat O'Brien's Loose Cannons radio show
4 of 9
"I have a disease? Bull–t. I cured it … with my mind."
– Rejecting his father Martin Sheen's statement that his son suffers from alcoholism to The Alex Jones Show
5 of 9
"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."
– Explaining why he's decided to be so outspoken
6 of 9
"I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen."
– Professing his sobriety to 20/20's Andrea Canning
7 of 9
"I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
– Sheen, on Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, in an open letter
8 of 9
"I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p–y!"
– Taking aim at the founding father
9 of 9
"This is me warming up."
– Sheen, promising more to come, to PEOPLE
Bethenny Frankel Still Going Strong with Dennis Shields — but Makes It Clear Men 'Don't Define Us'
Lauren Graham: 'There Was No Game Play' When I Started Dating Costar Peter Krause