It has been 10 years – 10 FULL YEARS – since Ron Burgundy came into our lives, the one anchorman who was more man than the rest. And a decade after Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy opened in theaters, he’s still (say it with us) kind of a big deal.
We can’t think of a movie that has given us more quotable lines, more flammable-looking suits or more reasons to avoid drinking milk on a hot day. And we’re not exaggerating when we say that Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team managed to teach us a few things, too. In honor of its 10th anniversary, here are 10 life lessons that we learned from Anchorman. (Yes, 60% of the time these tips will work every time.)
1. Know how to order a drink. It’s one thing to love scotchy, scotch, scotch. It’s another to be able to slide into a booth at Tino’s, stare the waiter right in the eye and say, “I’ll have a Manhattan. And kick the vermouth to the side with a pair of steel-toed boots.” Totally classy.
2. Pursue your passions. It doesn’t matter what your interests are, whether they’re enjoying a nice pair of slacks, practicing your non-regional diction or dabbling in the jazz flute, you need to make time for them in your life. Not only does that make you more interesting and well-rounded, it also means you’ll be prepared if you ever need to break out “East Harlem Shakedown” in E flat. But no matter how many talents you have, just be humble about them. And remember to keep the cymbals splashy.
3. Look toward the future. Set goals for yourself, both short term (like remaining the No. 1 News Team) and long term (like becoming a network anchor or forming a family band with your children that will tour the countryside). And if someone tells you his or her own goals and dreams, be respectful. Don’t go home and write them in your diary with the caption, “Veronica had a very funny joke today.”
(Credit: GIF Bay)
4. Know how to work a room. Just because you have many leatherbound books and your apartment smells of rich mahogany doesn’t mean that you’re the life of the party within those four walls. If you really want to keep people interested, you have to know both how to start a conversation and how to keep it going past a list of your own accomplishments (unless you really are Ron Burgundy). If that doesn’t work, opt for a well-timed cannonball.
5. It’s OK if you don’t understand love. The nature of love is tough to explain. Sometimes it’s deep and enduring, sometimes it’s making out in the bathroom of a K-Mart. Sometimes it lasts, sometimes you part ways never to see each other again. And even though that feeling can be difficult to put into words, don’t be afraid to say “I love you” or “I love desk” or "I love lamp."
6. Dogs are an (anchor)man’s best friend. Those miniature Buddhas covered with hair know you on a deeper level than even your closest two-legged friends. They know how to make your day, how to surprise you and how to eat an entire wheel of cheese, if given the opportunity. And adopting a dog really can – and often will – save your life. (And not just because you fell into a bear enclosure.)
7. Make time for fitness. Hey, if you want to have real sleeve-stretching guns, sometimes you have to sculpt them at the office. Sometimes you have to do, like, over a thousand reps if you want to feel that deep burn, but the benefits are always worth it. But don’t worry if pumping iron isn’t your thing: You could always try that new fad called jogging or yogging. (Maybe it’s a soft J?) That’s apparently where you just run for an extended period of time.
(Credit: The Movie Score)
8. Keep your profanity classy. We’ve all been in a glass case of emotion, frustrated and angry and trying to find the right four-letter way to let the world know exactly what’s wrong. But why go for the easy expletives (unless someone typed them on the teleprompter) when you can shout things like, “By the beard of Zeus!” Or “Antony and Cleopatra!” Or “Sweet grandmother’s spatula!” We feel better already.
9. Sometimes you have to fight for what you believe in, but fight fair. As hard as you try to avoid conflict, sometimes it just happens. It has to. But don’t let passion overtake reason in these situations: know your limits, keep a tight perimeter and no touching of the hair or face. Also, try to avoid killing anyone with a trident. Or in general.
10. Nothing good ever comes from throwing a burrito anyway. Yes, a burrito can be filling, but don’t just toss it. Ever.