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"You've got on two diamond earrings. You're obviously not broke."
– Nancy Grace, to Jon Gosselin on The Insider
"Actually, they're CZs."
– Jon Gosselin
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"I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me."
– David Letterman, making light of his admission to having in-office affairs, on his late show
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"I guess by now you've all figured out how I got the job."
– David Letterman's follow-up man Craig Ferguson, taking a jab at his boss, on his late, late show
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"Gosh, I'm so emotional. It's not that time of the month, either!"
– Jessica Simpson, tearing up during her speech at an Operation Smile gala
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"Do you always talk at the speed of lightning?"
– Joy Behar, interviewing Kelly Clarkson on The View
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"To me, working out is literally like eating a meal or drinking water or breathing. If I don't, I just feel like crap…I start punching actors."
– Hilary Swank, on her need for an endorphin rush, to Marie Claire
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