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"I was in dirty diapers when she did Dirty Dancing."
– Jennifer Grey's Dancing with the Stars partner Derek Hough, to PEOPLE
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"The second you come into my house I bring you to the sink, show you the soap, then hand sanitizer and then I follow you around with baby wipes. Then I wipe the knobs and stuff."
– Eric Dane, on becoming a new dad and a germaphobe, on Lopez Tonight
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"What is your bust size?"
– Kathy Lee Gifford, grilling the Chippendales dancers who came to visit her on the Today show
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"I'm so proud to be on the 2,999th show. I almost made it to the 3,000 show, which has Justin Bieber, the Pope and a special appearance by Paris Hilton, who's going to demonstrate the differences between chewing gum and cocaine."
– Nathan Lane, on The View
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"I'm a bodywash guy. It freaks me out to use soap."
– Kenny Chesney, to PEOPLE
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"All the promotion you got from being on here that night…That's free publicity. So we want a little something for that, and my talent fee – you know, it's not my first rodeo."
– David Letterman, trying to get some kickback from Joaquin Phoenix, whose prior appearance on the show turned out to be all an act for his mockumentary, I'm Still Here