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"I wish he would stop calling me for advice."
– Recent tabloid headliner David Letterman, taking a jab at his replacement, Tiger Woods, on his late show
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"But what can you do with George Clooney? George Clooney is one of the most handsome, best actors in the world and is nice to everyone. It's like going at Mother Teresa."
– Ricky Gervais, on promising not to target notorious jokester and charitable actor George Clooney as host of this year's Golden Globes, to PEOPLE
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"There's been way higher mountains than you in my past."
– The 5 ft. 4 in. Seth Green, to the 5 ft. 11 in. Wendy Williams, on dating taller women
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"He told me I looked good, but I'd look better if I had a personal trainer."
– Colin Firth, crediting his trimmer physique to Single Man director Tom Ford, to The New York Times
"I told him he was fat."
– Tom Ford, recalling a slightly different conversation with Firth, to the NYT
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"You try to pretend like you're paying attention to your family, but in the meantime, you're like "Grandma, can you pass the gravy? I'M OPEN!"
– Ray Romano, on the challenges of watching football during holiday meals, on Live! With Regis and Kelly
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"The girls with the bigger…"
– Modern Family's Sofia Vergara, giving a new perspective on the age old question of whether blondes or brunettes have more fun, on Rachael Ray
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