Note for all trainers: don’t try to gain clients by body shaming them.
Unfortunately, that’s what one man tried to do to Cassie Young, a newly engaged radio host in Atlanta. Young was celebrating her bride-to-be status on social media when a trainer reached out to her on Twitter, offering his services “to get you in shape for your wedding.”
When Young turned him down, replying that she’s “in shape,” he was undeterred, and continued to send her body shaming messages.
“I know you want to look your best on your wedding day,” he wrote. “If you don’t hire me hire someone. Those pictures lasts[sp] centuries.”
This guy reached out to me on Twitter with a pitch, and it spiraled into something else. I’m posting this because I want every woman and man to know that it does not MATTER what you look like. (I'm blue. He's gray. Swipe to read.) You are worthy. Love is out there for you. Life is waiting with open arms. It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or fat or between the two or willowy or broad shouldered or peer shaped or like a board or anything in between. You get good stuff in life by being YOU. That's what matters. If you think of life as a “game” with being skinny as how you “win,” this guy is offering to play by the rules and get you there. I’m telling you the game is BOGUS. You don’t need the game. I reject the game. I REFUSE TO PLAY. It’s a fake construct that you can step outside of. Your inner-value and self-worth comes from YOU, not what you look like. Who gives a f**k if you got a few extra pounds. Or ten. Or twenty. Thirty. Whatever. If you are happy and healthy, that’s ALL that matters. Those pounds DO 👏NOT 👏DEFINE 👏YOU 👏OR 👏YOUR 👏WORTH. Don’t let people like this try to convince you otherwise, because they’ll try – but it’s because they don’t understand yet. They’re caught up in the game and can’t see it for what it is. You can. Life is waiting for you. It's too short to be spent worrying about a belly roll. Go be happy and live it to your fullest.
But Young remained cool, kindly explaining why she’s happy with her body.
“I know it’s probably hard for you to understand this, but it’s taken me a long time to love my body. I’m constantly shamed or reminded that I’m heavy and I should be embarrassed — or people are embarrassed for me — or just straight up rude, calling me ‘disgusting.’ I’ve battled past all that and like how I look,” she responded.
“I’ve worked really hard at accepting my self-worth and disassociating the idea that my weight is a direct correlation to my value as a person or how much people will like me. And I found someone who loves me no holds barred — just the way I am, thus proving that true.”
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The trainer refused to give in, however, continuing to say, “you can’t lie to yourself,” and explaining that he understands because he used to be heavier. Young responded that he is “perpetuating the problem,” of basing your self-worth on your appearance.
Young posted screenshots of their conversation across social media, explaining that she’s “posting this because I want every woman and man to know that it does not MATTER what you look like.” Her posts now have over 3,000 likes, and Young thanked her followers on Instagram for their support.
👈👈👈 HATERS TO THE LEFT. I’ll be honest, yesterday the trolls got to me for a hot minute. Their comments didn’t hurt my feelings so much as stole my faith in the world. I was shocked that people could be SO cruel and SO nasty, and I wondered why we should even bother about fighting against this cold, biter, heartless Army Of The Dead. . And then you reached out. And you. And you and you and you. You told me your stories of ordering your first two piece. Your battles with eating disorders and self-acceptance. The struggle with loss in your family and weight gain because of depression and how you battle it every day, head held high. Or going into the water in a bathing suit to play with your kids and make memories for the first time instead of hiding under a beach towel. Or stories of your kids, who see the world through innocent, honest eyes, and don’t get what the problem with being overweight is (because to them there is no problem.) Or the heartbreaking stories of how you or your daughters or sisters were on the precipice, and all they needed to realize was that fat is literally just an adjective, and not a judgment on who they are as a person, and now they’re getting married. . Thank you guys. You drowned out the trolls. You checked on me to make sure I was ok. You slammed the haters and showed me the light again. Texts, Tweets, Emails, DMs, Facebook Messages. There’s not even a comparison to the level of love I have seen on the internet from @TheBertShow community – my radio family – and from absolute strangers. . If you are struggling, know we are out there. Not only the outspoken protestors, but also the silent allies. We will stand tall with you and we will win this fight. I promise you. . EVERY body is beautiful. . This photo is for you, trolls. Eat your ❤️ out. . . . #EffYourBeautyStandards #EffYourBodyStandards #MYPerfectBody #LoveYourBody #IAmWhoIAm #HatersGonnaHate #BodyPositivity #LoseHateNotWeight #LoveYourself #BodyPositivity #EverybodyIsBeautiful #HealthIsWealth #SelfLove #HonorMyCurves #CelebrateMySize #TheRealMe #BBW #SelfAcceptance #RealBeauty #IAmGoodEnough #IAmWorthy #LookWhatYouMadeMeDo #AllTheHashtagsBecauseThisIsImportant 📷: @ownboudoir
“If you are struggling, know we are out there. Not only the outspoken protestors, but also the silent allies. We will stand tall with you and we will win this fight. I promise you,” she writes. “EVERY body is beautiful.”