The runner was dealing with multiple injuries that she thought would be the end of her career, and started cutting “to release the anguish,” Holmes explained at the Health and Wellbeing Live show, a mental health conference in the U.K., on Sunday, according to the BBC.
“At my lowest, I was cutting myself with scissors every day that I was injured,” she said.
Holmes’ had “ups and downs for so many years,” but by 2003, her depression was to the point where she looked in the mirror and “didn’t want to be here anymore,” she told the BBC.
“The scissors were in the bathroom and I used them to release the anguish that I had. It was really a bad place to be.”
Looking back, Holmes said she hid her depression from the public out of fear of criticism, but she now knows it’s an issue that needs to be “shouted about more.”
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She wants people struggling from depression to know that there is hope.
“My biggest message to people is that you can get out of that and you can still achieve,” Holmes said. “There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.”