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HE RELATES TO PARENTS WHO HATE FLYING WITH THEIR KIDS
"I would rather drink a piping hot bowl of liquid rabies than get on a plane with my two children. At 2 years old they just have to rip all their clothes off and introduce themselves to everyone on the plane, it's just like, 'Please can we land in a farmer’s field?' "
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PREPPING FOR RED CARPETS HAS BECOME A TAD MORE DIFFICULT
"I don't have time for anything — I'm amazed I remembered pants!"
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HE'S PROUD OF HOW JAMES IS HANDLING THE ARRIVAL OF HER LITTLE SISTER
"It's amazing to see my older daughter taking care of my younger one. The Lion King was right! The circle of life, it exists."
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WITH TWO DAUGHTERS COMES MORE RESPONSIBILITIES
"There's more love, there's more diapers. There's more all that stuff, you know."
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HE ALWAYS WANTED A DAUGHTER
"I never admitted it out loud, to myself or my wife, but I really wanted a little girl. It's the best."
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HE'S TRANSFORMED INTO A COMPLETELY DOTING DAD
"I don't have to prepare to be wrapped around my daughter's finger. I have been wrapped around her little finger since the day she plopped out into this world."
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HE & BLAKE ALWAYS STAY PRESENT
"Our baby comes with us everywhere, and we don't work at the same time."
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HE'S ALREADY HAD MINI PARENT FREAKOUTS
"Early on I saw my mom handle the baby, and my heart jumped into my throat because she was just handling her like a piece of meat! Then I realized, 'Oh, this is a person who knows her way around a naked eight-pounder and is not slightly terrified.' "
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HE DOESN'T MIND SLEEPLESS DIAPER-CHANGING NIGHTS
"I have no problem waking up five times in the middle of the night and changing diapers, and as exhausted as you get, I have this stupid grin on my face all the time."
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HE'S FULLY IMMERSED HIMSELF IN DAD CULTURE
"I'm like a dad guy now ... about a month ago, I was sitting in traffic, and I was just jamming 'These Dreams' by Heart. I was killing it in the car."
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HE GETS THE JOB DONE
"I was told that I needed to check her temperature through the rectum. I was like, 'No. Can't be.' There's a mouth, there's an armpit, there's got to be something [else] ... The doctor was like, 'No, no, no, just have one of you guys distract her, and the other one do it. She'll be fine' ... It all went well though. I didn't lose it. It came back out."
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HE'S A GOOD SPORT … AND PERPETUAL JOKESTER
"Thumb wrestling isn't always fair. Curiously, my hand is the small one."
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HE'S ALREADY WORRIED ABOUT EMBARRASSING JAMES
"Because as we know, little girls turn into teenage girls and little teenage girls sometimes scan through the archives and go, 'Why did you do that?' "
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SERIOUSLY, IT'S NO BIG
"We think that she thinks she's protecting us from the sleep monsters."
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: HE'S REALLY OKAY WITH NO SLEEP
"These days, I think of blinking as taking tiny little naps all day."
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HE'S HAPPY SHARING EVERYTHING WITH HIS BABY GIRL
"If anything else woke up every 45 minutes during the night demanding to see my wife's breasts, you kill it. [But with] a baby, you're like, 'Wahoo!' "
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BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO BRAG ABOUT HER ON FACEBOOK …
"Everyone thinks their baby is a genius. People find it delightfully refreshing when I tell them, 'My baby? Totally average. Like, 100 percent average.' "
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… EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE IS
"I have a friend who said his 2½-year-old was reciting Chekhov. Now that baby's a genius and probably, let's be honest, a bit of an a–hole."
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HE CONTINUOUSLY PROVES HE'S THE BEST HUSBAND EVER
"I used to say to her, 'I would take a bullet for you. I could never love anything as much as I love you.' And then the second I looked in that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment, if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby."
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CASE IN POINT
"I'm just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she's breakfast, lunch and dinner. She's a human Denny's all day long … and it never ends for her. She's the most beautiful Denny's you've ever seen though, I guarantee it."
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SURE, HE MAY BE SLEEPY …
"It's amazing that you can be that exhausted and that happy at the same time."
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… BUT HE'S SO DARN HAPPY
"I'm just excited about having a buddy."
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